by Tiffany Sheridan

Created on: October 31, 2008

Ah co-sleeping, the debate goes on and on and on. Ask my mother or grandmother and they will preach at you until they are blue in the face about the dangers and pitfalls of having a child sleep in your bed. However if you were to ask my adult cousin or my best friend from high school they would praise co-sleeping and suggest it to every new parent to be. So what is a mother of todays age to do? Well here's a little secret, do what you feel comfortable with. Give it a try. If you get scared or uncomfortable don't do it. If it seems right keep at it. There is another secret too, as an adult we can change our minds.

So am I saying yes co-sleep or no you had better not? For me co-sleeping worked out great for two of my three children. As a new mother with my oldest daughter I was unsure and frightened about everything, and co-sleeping was no different. If she slept in her crib would I hear her, what if spits up and chokes, what if she stops breathing, what if. Or if I put her in my bed will I roll over on her, will she ever be able to sleep on her own, what about intimate time with my husband. It was not an easy decision to make. In the end I decided that I would sleep with my child.

Co-sleeping just worked for me. For one I was nursing and it was so easy to just roll over and have my child there ready to nurse at any moment. In turn I got several more precious minutes of sleep. I did not have to get up to get the baby and with nursing I didn't have to get up and warm a bottle either. As long as I kept diapers close to the bed I didn't have to leave the room at all. I just put the dirty diapers in a baggy and threw them out in the morning. As a new parent these extra moments of sleep are heaven sent. Also being able to hear, see or feel that your child is doing just fine during the night helps put a parents mind at ease. We all know of course that we love to cuddle our young babies too. Plenty of opportunities to snuggle up to you little one with co-sleeping and this helps with bonding also. I have pointed out many benefits that worked for me but I did say that it only worked for two of my three children.

With my middle child having her in bed with me was more of a challenge than anything else. She was a fussy sleeper, noisy during sleep and she moved all the time even while sleeping. While it didn't faze her in the least bit it put a strain on me. I felt like I was always up comforting her or making sure that the noise she was making was just a sleepy noise and not something more. I woke in the morning still exhausted. While we are talking about the negative effects of co-sleeping I will mention that you have to take time as the child grows older to get them into their own bed. With my middle child it wasn't an issue we put her in her crib and she seemed to like her space. However my oldest child slept with me until she was 18 months old, we had to try over and over to get her to stay in her own bed. As long as the parent keeps trying eventually the child will sleep on their own. As a current co-sleeping parent I realize that I will have to take my cues from my child and my circumstances. While it feels right, even with the "scheduled" intimate time with my husband, I know from experience that it could change at any moment.

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