by Gary Gagne

Created on: October 31, 2008   Last Updated: June 08, 2009

Every year at about this time, I put the final stitches into my old Superman costume for one more Halloween. When I was young this costume was magnificent and my superpowers matched that magnificence. I could fly like a jet, I had superhuman strength, I had x-ray vision, I incinerated my enemies with heat vision, I traveled in space on a regular basis and I circled the globe doing good and saving innocent lives. As the years pass my costume has gone through alternation after alternation and the costume itself begins to look more like the "great pumpkin" than "superman". I'm much older now and my vision and strength is failing me, While I don't cut as striking a figure as it once did and I hate to fly anymore, I still do good everyday, I still save lives.

So, as Halloween approaches it is my tradition to list the things I have to be grateful for (i.e. my remaining superpowers). So, I'm asking you to join me in listing the superpowers you're grateful for.

1) A cloak of invisibility; Yes, as I get older I have noticed my cloak of invisibility works better and better. I can walk around any town anywhere in the United States (and three other countries) and never have anyone appear to notice me. No one says hi, no one says bye, and no one smiles. Now, you could look at this as a blessing or a curse, I choose to elevate this reality to a superpower.

2) When I wear striped shirts at a disco some people will seizure; Apparently it doesn't matter whether the stripes are vertical or horizontal but I do believe the flashing lights have a lot to do with it . As you can well imagine I don't often go to discos and when I do go, I have be sure that the place is full of terrorists or criminals. Then of course, the results are at times inconsistent and unpredictable, making this a very risky superpower, but I'm still thankful for it anyway.

3) When I sing, people leave the room; I think this one speaks for itself. This particular superpower has to do with sound waves vibrating through air, the functioning of eardrums etc., and has very little to do with me. It is obviously a magical thing and and I have managed to clear entire karaoke bars with it. Top that one Superman!

4) When I drive a car I am endowed with superhuman intelligence and judgment far beyond those of mortal men; This one is a real gift I use it everyday and I don't know why I have not received some recognition from the Registry of Motor Vehicles, but there it is. While in many respects I understand that I am an evolutionary step behind most people in intelligence I am like a god (notice the small g) when I drive. People are flying past me like bullets, tailgating me, flipping over, and catching fire. Hell, I've even seen semi's hanging from suspension bridges. It's like a bad movie out there.

5) I have magnetic powers; I have no male ego and yet I am well aware that women cannot resist me, I am a chick magnet. Having said that, I am also aware that if we ever colonize other planets there will be some weird life forms and they will probably be equally irresistible to at least some women somewhere in the world.

While my list of superpowers is dwindling, and some people might consider them a stretch, they do comprise much of who I am and they contribute to my ability to do good. I encourage you, this Halloween, to discover your superpowers too. To count your blessings, to do good and to put together a costume that represents Superyou!

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