by Lois Rayburn

Created on: October 31, 2008

GRANDPARENTS

We were an extended family and mothers, aunts, grandmothers, always helped take care of each others kids we were all in the same family even though the mothers were married. The men became part of our family; we did not leave to marry and join his family or become separate from our birth family. The daughter's children were a part of the grandparent's family. Grandparents were held in high esteem and shown much respect. Aunts and uncles had the same privileges as parents. Grandparents' instruction, guidance, discipline and ways were adopted, not cast aside. A child would never disrespect his grandparent and the parents were the same.

Unity in the family. A married couple and their children were not a separate entity but a part of the whole. The grandmother was highly respected by all and loved dearly. The grandfather was respected. No child would ever disrespect, talk back to their grandparents. Nor would you ever want to. Their love was complete and if you screwed up, you just about died inside knowing you'd hurt them. They wanted the best for us and always stressed education since theirs was cut short because they were needed to help work the farm or had to go to work in the coal mines or the brickyards to bring money home to put food on the table. An 8th grade education worked fine for the old way of life, but as our communities changed from farming and coal mining to industry and technology, the old way of life of living simply off the land, of families staying close and helping each other dramatically changed.

Roads were built, interstate roads that led out and beyond our small towns. Jobs were taken out of the community; our children went to colleges, universities far away and most never came back, having met a boyfriend or girlfriend there who later became a spouse. A lot left to take higher paying jobs, jobs with a future, jobs that didn't involve working out in the hot fields all day or going underground in the mines for 8-12 hours, eventually causing lung disease or cancer in your old age.

So, we were encouraged and worked toward a better life, most all of us finished high school, making them proud, and then some of us went on to college through scholarship or financial aide. Yeah, a lot of my cousins, they worked or went to college during the week and came back home to family on weekends, for holidays and yearly reunions.

No, those grandmas and grandpas of yours wanted better for you. So they encouraged their kids to stay in school, knowing

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next Page >>