by Christina McCreedy

Created on: October 31, 2008

Has there been a more controversial subject in custody matters today than the one of shared or joint custody? Many people are bringing to the table extreme arguments both for and against this style of parenting. Here is my story - and it is a very compelling argument FOR the case of shared parenting.

I met my other half when his son was just an infant, his marraige had just recently broken up and custody issues, visitation etc. was still very up in the air. Although we tried the "going slow" route he soon ended up not just staying over occasionally but living with me full-time. I remember at first wondering what I had gotten myself into - our little man was at that time just 5 months old and we were bothing working midnights so visitation was very hectic. Add to that the fact that the little guy was collicky and you can imagine the strain our relationship started out with - it was a trial by fire with strained tempers and our attitudes towards child-rearing front and center at the beggining of our relationship.

The ex at that time was not real happy about our relationship progressing so quickly and was understandably concerned about the woman that had been introduced into her infant sons life. She insisted on meeting me and I as a mother myself identified with her concerns and agreed to this. At this time my daughter was 5 and I was well past the whole baby stage of child rearing in my life - and quite happy about it too.

My significant other and I decided that our schedules were not condusive to a good family life and I changed jobs, going from working midnights to days, as did he, in order to have a more time with his son. Much of the child-rearing fell to me as his job required a lot of overtime. Wanting to get along with his ex and have the best relationship with her in the interests of my step-son I read the book "step-wives" and also any information on the net about getting along with the ex and raising children in blended families.

I consulted with her on things like formula and feeding schedules, bedtimes, naptimes and more, at first via my then fiance and as the year went on via email myself and then phone conversations between herself and me. With the change in our work schedules the two of them discussed parenting time and custody and agreed between them to joint-custody establishing a split-week routine that we maintain to this day.

I am very lucky that I am dealing with a woman who puts her child first at all times, I know that others have not been

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