by Christa Abernathy

Created on: January 16, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

"Bang bang. Zap zap. You're dead." Tiny fingers wrapped around the umbrella handle and aimed at Father's chest. My sister had decided that she had a ray gun/ lazer/ pistol early on in life. I, being 4 years younger, followed in her footsteps. For us, Barbie had one use - to be rescued by He-Man from the clutches of Jabba the Hutt while on the run from G.I. Joe. So, it wasn't really a surprise when 15 years later, my nephew started turning everything into a gun, including my father's leg.

So why do we traditionally think that only boys can have guns and girls get the dollies?

As toddlers, children really don't seem to care one way or another what toy they play with. That toy becomes whatever they want it to be. Girls tend to associate play with nurturing at an early age, so even the simplest toys become babies. They mimic their mothers and carry their babies with them everywhere. They feed them, they clothe them, the teach them. My sister and I were no different, though our babies were our pet dogs more often than not. As girls get older, they begin to associate play with Daddy or another male figure and start to look for ways to be like him. Babies have their place, but active play like climbing, riding bikes, or play fighting take on a more prominent role.

Boys aren't much different. They like to comfort a certain doll or figure as toddlers. My nephew carried around a 7 of 9 figurine until the paint wore off of it. They love on their dolls just as much as a girl does, though their play is often more aggressive than a girl's would be. This is in part due to the fact that boys are treated differently by parents and caregivers. While they're still comforted and treated carefully, they are also taught a more rough and tumble play. This is mostly a social stigma but one that none of us are readily giving up. Soon, guns show up in their play time. This is usually because of the fact that action figures replace dolls and stuffed animals. Even if a parent doesn't have guns or show any real attention to them, a young boy will see them in the hands of a film character or on a book cover and become fascinated by them. Again, they begin to associate play with the male role model and decide that guns and action figures are more important to them than the docile play that we see with little girls.

By the time that children enter school, we see that gender roles have been assigned and the rules of play are written out. Boys are suddenly very concerned that you refer to their G.I. Joe's as "Action Figures" and they tell you that the fallen branch you tossed aside is a new "gun". Girls make sure that you know Bratz are "dolls" and that shoe box in the bottom of your closet is a new "cradle".

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