by Angela Barrington

Created on: January 16, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Well ladies, I know that being raped is a scary thought as I too once feared it. I was only 15 when it happened, I woke up to a man on top of me after I had worked a back shift and only arrived home a couple of hours earlier. This man was helping himself to my fatigued body, and really raped my thoughts all at once! This was a man that I had never dreamed of would I wake up to like this! All I heard as my eyes opened to see what was happening to me as his hands covered my mouth was "if you ever tell anyone, I will make sure that they won't believe you and I will kill you" Well, here's the part that almost made me end my life while in a state of mistrust, hurt, confusion and all time low of lows.....the man was my father!

I had grown up with this man who called himself dad for the first 15 years of my life. He really by blood was my biological father and let me tell you, I tell everyone to this day that my dad is dead. That day, I believe that my so called father had given up his right to carry the fatherly title. I believe that all along in the 15 years prior to this incident, he was no more than a stranger living under our roof!

Well here it is 13 years after the fact, I only told my mom about this 2 years ago and she is happily back together with this man! My mom is dead to me too. How can you take that mans word over your daughter? Imagine ladies, what would you do? We all know that either way, it just wouldn't be legal once we heard that our men had touched our children! I neglected to report this rape considering all circumstances that were involved at the time and my mom says that because I neglected to do so makes me a liar! I have spoken to many professionals since 2 years ago, I was able to finally come to terms with myself and what had happened and all of them say that 80% of rapes of any kind are not reported right away due to threats and traumatization reasons and usually the 20% that are reported right away are screams for attention or spite. In other words, if you have been raped and you clam up...this is normal BUT in my experience....it's not healthy!

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