by Christina McCreedy

Created on: October 30, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

The absolute truth is that I don't blame my daughters father for being absent. My pregnancy was a choice at 20 years old neither one of us had made - but in deciding to have a baby, rasing a child was a choice I made. He on the other hand did not want to be a dad and this was a decision I respected. The novelty of being a father somewhat was facsinating to him and as we stayed freinds and in touch during my pregnancy and for a time after I kept him informed of the way things were progressing with our daughter - but I expected nothing of him.

You see I'm one of those strange women that believe men have rights too. I believe that although I made the choice to have a child - he didn't and that I should respect that. I'm not talking about fathers walking away from their children after years of marriage etc. I am talking about the rights that every man should have equal to a womans in regards to choosing to have a child or not. Yes, I have heard all the"he played he should pay" theories, but I don't believe that at all.

My daughter is well-adjusted, she knows that she has a father out there who wasn't ready to raise a child, and if she has questions I answer them honestly. I have never bad mouthed him or made her feel that he is a bad person for this decision or let her feel that she is bad because of his decision. She knows she gets her height from him and we talk openly about how lucky I am that he gave me the gift of her.

Don't get me wrong there have been alot of questions over the years - but you can treat these questions in the same vain you would if you were a single woman who chose to go to the sperm bank. Quite honestly when you take the choice from a man about whether to be a father or not isn't it the same situation to a degree. I mean if a woman wants a baby she can choose to have one, if not she can choose abortion - what rights do men have to equal that. I strongly feel that a woman is the guardian of her body and if she chooses to have a child in a situation outside of marriage then she should be perfectly capable and willing to support that child without a mans help.

I am now married to a wonderful man that my daughter chooses to call daddy, she knows that there is another man out there who is her biological father but she is happy to call daddy the man who CHOOSES to be here on a daily basis. I am not one to force my opinions onto others, but I strongly feel that an unwilling father can cause much more damage to a child in the long run than not having a father at all.

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