by Calli Miller

Created on: October 30, 2008

Often, parents are just as uncomfortable discussing sex with their children as the children are themselves. A few tips will make you feel more relaxed so that your child gets all the facts straight without having to rely on naughty websites or rumors from their peers.

Find a time to talk to your child when they will be attentive, relaxed, and happy. Make sure they're in their element unless you want a moody kid who will most likely shun your talk. Some parents take their daughters for a "girl's day out" beforehand, including either a movie, shopping, or some kind of treat that they can relate to and appreciate. For sons, try a sports game or a movie; the same applies. Afterward, find a nice park, a quiet room, or a location that your kids are at ease in. You will most likely want a quiet, relatively isolated area.

As silly as it sounds, rehearse what you're going to say. Don't feel obligated to memorize your talk word for word and repeat it in front of the mirror, but ensure that you're covering everything. (Patchy knowledge of sex can be disastrous to a teenager, at school, home, or wherever.) This will help you be more confident for the real thing, which is absolutely necessary. If you are flustered or blushing while describing the details of sex, your kid will feel even more uncomfortable than he or she already is. Keep in mind, bodies are just human bodies. All females and all males are alike, even if they are not exactly identical. Body parts are nothing to be ashamed of.

Tone can also make an impact. Be serious, but not so much to the point to where your child feels like he or she is being scolded. At the same time, sex is an important matter so joking excessively is not encouraged lest your kid think that sex is trivial. This can depend on your religion or beliefs.

Will you need a visual aid? If you would prefer one, be very selective about what you choose. Little kiddy books often make for great, clear references without being too explicit. Your child will see these pictures and most likely remember them, so make sure they are good ones. If, however, you do not want a visual aid, be extremely careful. You will have to be very understandable so that your child does not have the wrong impression of what sex is. The slightest vague sentence could make the kid question what sex actually is.

Encourage questions. Be very thorough about this because it's very likely that your son or daughter will be too embarrassed to inquire about something. He or she will have heard rumors and/or jokes about sex that can be very confusing, especially when he or she has no knowledge of what sex is. Parents know their children better than anyone else, so it's up to them to determine whether their kid is harboring a secret doubt or not.

Sex is a very general term, so STD's and different kinds of sex may also be things you want to cover. These are topics your child will hear about growing up, so you want to prepare them for what's coming their way. Make sure they know you're there for them, no matter what questions they may ever have. Preparing your kid(s) for the future is a serious issue, but it doesn't, and shouldn't, have to be an awkward situation.

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