by Nokomis Tatiana

Created on: October 30, 2008

Perfect, just like about any other descriptive word in the dictionary, is a matter of perception. I think many people strive for perfection based on what they have been taught is to be the best. To look to magazines, television, and any other source of media for a foundation to build your own life is sad, to say the least. Whether it is physical perfection someone seeks or the ability to "do it all" without a complaint, perfection - in any form - simply doesn't exist. The men and women who are on the covers of magazines are not perfect, but the parts of them that are tainted can't always be seen in a photograph. There is too much expected of all of us, no matter who we are or where we may come from, for us to be perfect in every way.

There are single mothers who not only struggle to keep their careers and jobs while balancing motherhood, but also have to compete with those seemingly perfect families their children have to face at school functions. There are men who had to be the only man in the house growing up fatherless, and now expected to become a role-model father and hosband themselves - when no one ever taught them how. There are "middle-aged" people fighting to be seen because no one wants to hear what they have to say, the media tells us the only way they count is if they have had botox and are pretty to look at. There are married couples, who seem perfect to those single mothers, fighting daily over money, household duties and trying to remember who they were before they were someone's spouse. There are children who aren't given a chance to think about what they want to be when they grow up, because our society is in such a hurry to make them miniature productive adults as soon as possible.

We are all looking for ourselves and our role here on earth before we leave. If we should worry about being perfect in anyone's eyes, it should be our god's. And no matter what faith you have, we all know that is what counts in the end. The little moments in life is what makes it all worth it. It's not the fact that the single mother has no man around to help with the kids, but the fact she should rejoice in her bravery to do what she does where so many other "perfect" families fail. It isn't about the house you can't afford, or the toys they may want - it's about the secrets they whisper in your ear and the kiss on their knees before the bandage goes on. It's not the fact that the fatherless man now has to do something he knows nothing about, it's the fact that he is willing to try to be who his father should have been and will succeed in being a better man because of it. It's not the fact that the "middle-aged" woman, who has lines on her face, is never approached by the women at the cosmetics counter anymore, it's the fact that she realizes all those years of wearing them did not keep the lines away - nor did it change the beauty she possesses on the inside. It's not the fact that the bickering couple is fighting every day over simple things that sometimes seem huge, it's the fact that they lie beside each other in the dark, remembering the first time they laid eyes on each other - and it still makes them smile. And it's not the fact that our children are learning more in grade school than we did in high school, but the fact that we can still hold them like a child and tuck them in at night.

All the imperfections in our lives make up who we are, and the legacy we leave. Sometimes I burn my chocolate chip cookies and tear up because they took so long to make, and I am tired. Then, my four-year-old son comes to the kitchen to tell me "it's ok, mommy...I will help you make some more cookies so it won't take so long" and we make a "perfect" batch. That is what life is made of.

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