by Elexis Marie

Created on: October 29, 2008

As a teenager, you're already (mostly) confused and uncertain of the future. OK, to be fair, most teenagers don't realize that they experienced those emotions until they hit the wonderful age of 21. Teenage moms, though, we got a full dose of the confused-scared-uncertain-anxious pill about 30 seconds after the stick told us we were pregnant.

Who am I to speak this with such certainty? When I was 16 (and attending a very Catholic school), I got knocked up. Everything went from a little wonky to completely insane in those 30 seconds. At the time, it seemed that the world was going to end. That was over seven years ago, and, apparently, the world has continued to spin.

So, you're a pregnant teenager (or the parent/relative/friend of one), and you're understandably anxious. The first piece of advice is : stay calm. Yes, it's easier said than done. By "calm", I don't mean, "never freak out". After all, the "pregnant woman freak out" is a common symptom of all even planned and convenient pregnancies. Stay calm about the entire situation; don't let it narrate your life for the next nine months.

Reach out for whatever support you can. Whether it is your mom (mine was amazingly wonderful about my pregnancy, even though I expected her not to be), a grandma, aunt, cousin or your best friend's older sister who has five kids, find an understanding woman who has been through pregnancy, childbirth and childrearing. It may be helpful to vent your worries to your best friend, but she, dimes to dollars, is not qualified to give valuable pregnancy-related advice. By all means, continue to rely on her (if she's willing to listen), but go to a pregnancy-pro for the tough questions.

Ditch your bad habits, but don't get stressed over them. There are a few cut and dry no-no's during any pregnancy, that are usually illegal for teenagers anyway : alcohol, drugs and tobacco. Not a smoker, drinker or drug addict? You should also steer clear of other (less lethal) vices such as caffeine, fast-food and double-glazed donuts. This isn't just for baby; your pregnancy will progress more smoothly, your delivery will (most likely) be easier, and you won't pack on as many pregnancy-related pounds if you convert to a clean-eating lifestyle.

Read and surf. There are tons of excellent books on pregnancy out there. I read (and reread, and rereread) What to Expect When You're Expecting. There are also daily planners, pregnancy trackers and online communities. With a quick internet search, you'll be able to find communities geared towards teen mothers and connect with others in your situation. You can also search around for free subscriptions to pregnancy and baby magazines, and get your knowledge in smaller doses.

Last, and by far most important : Don't let people give you any problems. During my pregnancy, I wanted to hide away in my room. While most people at my high school were incredibly kind about it, the rumor mill began churning as soon as my belly swelled. Yes, you're pregnant. Yes, you're a teenager. Many people enjoy throwing around statistics on your likelihood to [graduate high school, become a neurosurgeon, insert random statistic from the internet here]. Carefully and gently remind them (since they may have a hard time understanding big words) that just because you are pregnant does not mean that a) you are suddenly brain dead, b) your life has come to an end, or c) you will live in your parents basement for the rest of your life.

Hopefully, these few pieces of advice will be useful to you. Good luck with your pregnancy!

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