by Ashley Burr

Created on: October 29, 2008

Avoid wedding debt, save your marriage

Of all of the many horrible things that could happen to destroy your wedding, there is one very important thing about your wedding that could potentially destroy your marriage: Debt.
I got married young. My parents paid for the whole thing. To be honest, I do not really know how much it was. But it was certainly less than the average American $27,000.00 event. In any case, my husband and I took none of that tab into our marriage-and we still argue over money from time to time. I can't imagine what starting out a marriage in a hole like that would be like.

When money problems are the number one issue cited in marriages, both the ones that last and those that end in divorce, we as a society should really be talking a whole lot more about the asinine costs of an average wedding. And you, dear reader, should really start talking with your future spouse and/or parents about how much you want to shoulder a debt like that in a rapidly deflated economy like the one we are entering now. It may seem difficult to comprehend when you have a barrage of beautiful cakes and pictures of elaborate honeymoon vacations to study, but the wedding is ONE day of your marriage.

There are four aspects of the wedding that are typically the most costly: dress, photography, food and flowers. Figure out what is most important to you. For me, it was the photography. I did not want to go cheap on that. So I wore my grandmother's dress, did my reception at a university art museum which required little decoration and served only desserts at the reception. Saving money doesn't necessarily mean that you have to shop clearance on everything; but let's be honest, so much of a wedding is convention. If you don't necessarily like something, then by all means, cut it out.
Here are some examples:

-Cut out the double envelope on your invitation. This custom dates back to when ink on separate sheets needed to be isolated so that it could dry. Also, make sure your size and shape invitation does not require extra postage.

-Don't invite everyone you have ever said hello to. Cutting your guest list is the number one thing you can do to cut costs. There is a huge temptation to invite anyone, and I mean anyone, who has ever been a part of your life. Instead, just invite those who are currently a part of your life.

-Don't serve alcohol.
Especially if you yourself don't drink.

-Borrow a dress.
There is a reason why people hang on to them besides sentimentality: eventually, everything comes back into style.

The biggest thing to cut out is your credit card. In fact, cut it up. Stick to a strict wedding budget. Avoid the temptation to put anything on your card that you cannot pay off the next month. Failing to do so can not only result in years worth of payments for your one day debt, but also wreak havoc on the very union you created on that one day.

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