by Deborah L. Robinson

Created on: October 29, 2008   Last Updated: October 30, 2008

How Does Social Anxiety Feel?

Imagine this. The whole world exists in a large football stadium. The bleachers are filled with an infinite sea of people further than the eye can see. Every person in the world is seated in this stadium except you. You're there too, but you're alone in the middle of the arena, where you live and carry out the daily functions of your life. High-beam flood lights are all trained down on you, and each person in the bleachers has a pair of binoculars. They all seem to be enjoying themselves. They talk and laugh, eat popcorn and appear to be happy with their existence. Amidst all the "living" some of the crowd's attention is always focused on you. They peer through their binoculars at the spectacle in the middle of the arena, which is you. You have the ability to read every single one of their thoughts about you. These thoughts are never kind but always negative and judgmental. You feel humiliated and ashamed but you can't escape their scrutiny. You try to carry on your life and ignore the fact that your every move is being analyzed and judged harshly. Still, sometimes, all you can do is curl up in the middle of the arena and want to die. This is what social anxiety feels like.

Because it's so difficult to explain to someone who has not experienced it, I have tried to paint a very graphic picture here to give the average person an idea of how it really feels to have social anxiety disorder. Now that you have some idea, imagine that you feel this way in most any situation in which you have to be around people, which for most of us is a good percentage of the time. For people with social anxiety going to work can feel like walking into purgatory everyday. They must somehow muster enough strength to endure eight hours, and then retreat to the safety of home. These are the ones who, with fortitude and incredible effort, manage to brave the searing flames and agony of hell each and every day. Others simply can't stand the mental and emotional thrashing on a daily basis and find limited ways to maintain themselves with the basics we all need -food, clothes, and shelter - as well as they can. What makes this disorder even more frustrating is that the person who endures it knows that believing others are paying that much attention to them and judging them all the time is irrational. In spite of this, they can't make it go away. It's as though a switch in their head is stuck and they can't turn it off.

There is a tremendous amount of guilt, embarrassment,

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