3 of 11

Write now Article Tools

We, as aspiring writers, all have read the books: how to get published, how to get an agent, how to write the great American novel, how to stay awake and write 10,000 words in 10 minutes, yadda yadda. Without a doubt, though, every writer has their 'quirk' or 'mannerism' that helps them stay on track, helps them keep their confidence up, keeps them from starting smoking or drinking Kool-Aid way too much or any other indulgence to drown away the sorrows of the all too well known searing rejection letter.

Let's face it: the aspiring writer's life is a tough one. Every time I think about it, I hear that "Rudy" musical score, and I pump myself up by imagining a crowd chanting my name over and over and over again. Or maybe a slow-starting applause, with people sniffling at the sight of my triumph? Yes, we live tough lives.

There are several tips in keeping your endurance, your strength, your creativity going. I have a list of three.

One, drink lots of chocolate milk. The reason for this is because, first of all, you're getting your Vitamin A and D, good protein, calcium; BUT, as a writer, we all know how absolutely essential chocolate is. It's like a stimulant. And not because of the sugar. For us, it practically stands as its own freakin' food group!

Two, take every rejection letter and sew 'em all together to make a kimono that you'll wear out for dinner or to see a movie. Kimonos are generally very breezy and beautiful. And there's nothing more beautiful than us taking our sorrows and turning them into that beauty.

And three, the most important one-

DAYDREAM. Daydream about anything. Everything. Daydream about chocolate sunglasses melting during the day and glazing across your skin as you slowly wipe the goo off your face while listening to a slowed version of Limp Bizkit's "Rollin'". Think about raining purple shuttlecocks breaking through windows, get whisked away, make yourself believe that you're a slowly-moving turd across Texas, and in the sky is a flying pig with tentacles emitting the sounds of an F-15, and you look up with your feces-filled face and smile brightly. Dear, Lord-love those F-15's. They're powerhouses.

And there you go! Just by daydreaming, you've started smiling. Maybe laughing. Maybe you think I've lost my freakin' mind. That's good. Now you can write and not worry about the moron that's going to reject your masterpiece. Have at it, fellow writers!

Learn more about this author, Pierre Roustan.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: Tips for unpublished writers?
We want to hear your view. Write now!