by Steven Pike

Created on: October 29, 2008

It can be a gradual process, the ending of a marriage.

It can also be rather sudden.

If any of the below listed situations have occurred, then I think it's almost certain that your marriage is over, or heading that way.

You arrive home from a normal day at work and locate a note on the kitchen table stating "Our marriage is over."

You arrive home from a normal day at work and wonder where your wife is. Thinking carefully, you try and remember if she mentioned anything about going somewhere. You shrug and enjoy the evening at home alone. 2 days later, you notice her clothes and all her belongings (including some items of furniture) are missing.

Your wife returns home in a removals van, opens the front door, storms in, and throws divorce papers at you.

You receive an email at work from a person identifying herself as a divorce lawyer. She states she speaks on behalf of her client, who just happens to be your wife.

During your lunch hour, a work colleague, who is good friends with your wife, says, "I'm sorry about your marriage. Jenny told me she was divorcing you."

You life has reached the stage where you find it impossible to talk to your wife, or her to you, without both having the overwhelming urge to just give up.

Your mother-in-law gives you a courtesy call, just to let you know that her daughter is finally leaving you

Conversations with your wife are conducted in a series of grunts and rude hand gestures.

You feel closer, emotionally, to the dog.

You arrive home from work and find a "for sale" sign in the front lawn. Amongst the fine print are the words "needs to sell quickly due to divorce settlement".

Realizing your marriage is over can be a devastating occurrence, but at times I am sure it would be a relief for many people. Trying to keep a doomed marriage afloat can be detrimental to both parties, especially emotionally.

"For the kids" is an understandable reason, but in the long run, but it may not be such a good idea. At the very least, the children are not going to grow up with a positive idea of marriage. Children are extremely perceptive and not much gets past them. They would sense exactly how the parents feel about each other and, besides, it would be almost impossible to hide all the time.

The end of a marriage is just that. It is not the end of the world. It will take time for everything to settle, but it will.

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