by Barb's voice heard

Created on: October 29, 2008   Last Updated: February 28, 2010

Yes folks, Domestic Violence is alive and well in every community across the United States. NO ONE is immune to the affects of this epidemic. With the rising pressures to succeed, the economic imbalance in our society, and the lack of knowledge that there is in the community, no wonder there has been a rise in domestic violence. There has been a rise in teen dating violence as well

Domestic violence is a cycle of abuse. From one generation to another in one form or another. It is verbal, emotional, physical, spiritual, psychological, economic and sexual. Most times, after you have been with an abuser long enough to batter your mind, body and spirit, you have experienced all forms of this abuse. It is a series of degrading, intimidating method of power and control over their spouse or intimate partner and children. This "battering" on a continual basis lowers the victims self-esteem to the point that they now "need" the approval of their abuser in every aspect of their life, whether they realize it or not.

Many times, the batterer is so manipulative with the conditioning they use, the victim doesn't even realize they are in an abusive relationship until the very physical battering takes place. Sometimes, this only comes in a cycle every six months, with an acute battering incident. However, there is no time limit on this, when the batterer is stressed they will use any form of violent behavior they deem necessary to control their partner. The batterer may yell, hit , push, shove kick, pinch or throw things at their partner. They may even beat their partner. The words are so damaging that the victim actually believes after awhile that they are the cause and blame themselves and carry all the blame and shame themselves, as the abuser wants them to so they are not held accountable for their actions. The abuser is distrusting, disloyal, disrespectful and does not consider their partner an equal in their eyes; but expects and even demands that their partner be everything mentioned above to the highest standard.

This cycle will continue unless both the abuser and the victim get separate counseling. Ironically, it is usually the victim who seeks help from someone they trust. If they do seek out your help, PLEASE be patient with them. They have already been told what to do and say and think and need you to help them think for themselves. Get them the hlep they need thru a counselor from an organization that works with victims of abuse like Turning Point, Coalition against

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