by Ingrid Brunkhorst Hurrell

Created on: October 28, 2008

COWBOYS DO CRY

Society is often hung-over on the old clich that "cowboys don't cry." Men have been compartmentalized over the ages as seemingly non-feeling, obnoxious and thick-skinned beings who are like the proverbial bulls in a china shop when it comes to being around people who are sensitive. What nonsense! One has to just watch a father hold his newborn for the first time to see how deep his emotions run, to realize that men are indeed able to be more "feelings-orientated."

Hockey, pizza and acne!

The teenage years should be a glorious season of late-night hockey, XBOX Live marathons, and warm, nurturing relationships. Imagine a life without bullies at schools, a family life that is healthy and growing, and teenage emotions and hormones that make every day smooth-sailing.
If only.
Truth of the matter is: every teenage boy will go through the agonizing process of finding himself, then learning to like himself, (warts and all!), and finally, finding his niche in the world. How can we as parents help them to cultivate a level of sensitivity, that would not only help them as far as their own inner feelings and thoughts, but also with regards to those they come into contact with?

Reflecting mirrors

The process of "sensitivity-training" begins with us.
That's right. It begins with the parent(s) or guardians. If you are sensitive to your teenage son's needs, feelings, opinions and values; you are already teaching him that respect and care work both ways. I remember when my oldest came home one day after encountering his first DOA as a volunteer firefighter. Having joined the fire department at age 17, he had never seen a dead person before. The moment he entered the house, I knew something had happened. It was in his eyes, the quietness of his demure, the sadness on his face. It was in the way he discarded of his gloves. It was in the way he kept washing his hands, as if to wash the sadness away. His body language told me he needed a listening ear, a hug, a cup of tea. All in his time.
When we see our boys are hurting, we always need to give them space and time, but we can communicate to them that we care so that they know they have not been overlooked. That's being sensitive to them and giving them a role model to follow.

Emotional intelligence

Sensitivity is defined by words such as consideration, care, thoughtfulness, empathy, sensibility, receptiveness, perception and insight. In my opinion, the ability to be sensitive by an individual, hangs on such person's emotional

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