by Cyndi Li

Created on: October 28, 2008   Last Updated: December 30, 2008

Most parents would rather walk across a bed of broken glass or eat fried tarantula legs rather than talk to their preteen about sex. The truth is it's really not all that hard or uncomfortable, and remember, if you don't talk about sex with them someone else will. the risk in this is, that "someone" else may not share your views or possess the same values you do? Scary thought, huh?

"Almost one in five young Internet users receive unwanted sexual solicitation." (Crime Against Children Research Center)Scary thought huh? If the prospect of educating your preteen about sex makes you feel nauseous and jittery here are a few tips that might make the conversation a little less dramatic; for you that is.

Ask other parents how they approached to subject. You're not the first parent who felt like running for the hills when it was time to talk about sex with your kid. Other parents may be able to give you some good insight on what to say and what to expect.

Don't make it a quick conversation just before bed or while you're waiting at the drive-thru. This is a serious topic that should be discussed in an environment that's comfortable for you both, and it should not be rushed.

Be straightforward. Don't beat around the bush with silly anecdotes or symbolic stories and phrases. You owe it to your preteen to be certain they completely understand what you're telling them. The consequences of miscommunication could be life long.

Be sure you pass your own moral beliefs about sex along to them. Don't take it for granted they know waiting for marriage is the right thing to do. And, don't end the conversation until you are confident they unequivocally understand they have the right to say no to sex.

Answer all their questions. Kids are born naturally inquisitive; that's why you have to childproof your house when they are small. But, that inquisitive nature doesn't go away as they get older; they just become curious about different things. If your preteen has a ton of questions, do your best to answer them, and if you can't, tell them you'll try to find out.

Don't make a big deal out of sex. Chances are they've already picked up a thing or two about it from their peers or the media. If you get all nerved up and start acting like sex is some sort of taboo you'll do one of two things. They'll become so frightened at the prospect of it; you'll scar them for life. As a result, they could have trouble connecting intimately with their partner later on in life or they'll see your discomfort, become uncomfortable themselves and refuse to participate. Remember, sex is something that, for most people, is inevitable; it's a natural thing.

Listen, your preteen is going to learn about sex eventually. Isn't it better they learn about it from you rather than someone else who may not have their best interests in mind?

Talking with your preteen about sex and how to handle it and all the consequences that come alone with it will better prepare them to make good choices when you're not around to watch over them.

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