by Emelia Rose

Created on: October 28, 2008

I must be honest and say that my ex-husband and I are better friends now then when we were married. Going through the divorce was a tough one but we all turned out just fine. My three children have parents who love them dearly and can get along at gatherings. We try to accomodate one another's schedules and are always at special functions together. After all the kids are more important than pettiness.

Our divorce was done on our own, no lawyers. It cost a total of $75.00 for the divorce and another $25.00 for filing joint custody. In nine months we were legally divorced and we both get to have our children equally. Getting divorced was easier than getting married.

My parents were married for twenty-six years when they divorced. Unlike my divorce they became enemies. They were in a love/hate marriage and in the end they literally were the "Bed of Roses" movie. Through all the violence in their marriage it only continued and got worse. They both died hating each other but also loving each other.

There is no one way to handle a divorce. When you are faced with a decision or the decision was made for you, how do you react? I believe that your state of mind at that time will determine your emotions. Having to either deal with rejection or having to be the bad guy. It would depend on the demands of each party. What about the children? Luckily when my parents divorced all six of us kids were in our late teens, early twenties. My children were still young but my ex and I have always lived within five miles. But, the children must come first. I have given up many nights and weekends to be with my children. I have walked in the backyard and screamed many, many times. Whatever it took not to be the crazy divorcee.

There are so many people who envy my relationship with my ex. I just let them know that it is so much easier to be nice. The kids are happy and I have no drama in my life. My quiet little life is just perfect. There is no yelling, cursing, hitting, or verbal abuse. I had all that growing up and I don't miss it one bit. I refused to have my kids go through what I did with my parents. If I learned anything, I learned how not to be like my parents.

There is lots of help for divorcing parents. Just search the internet, your government pages, and there are many groups that you can attend. Of course it also depends on the opposite party, if he/she wants to cause problems than you will have to deal with the situation when it arises. Every situation is different. I was lucky and had a spouse who was just thankful to have his children half the time.

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