by Barbara S Jones

Created on: October 28, 2008

I will never forget the events of that darkest, loneliest, most tormented night of my life when I finally met the one true love of my life! It was December 31, 1997 when I experienced my life-changing encounter with the living God.

I was baptized as a youth and believed in the salvation of the cross and the sacrifices Jesus Christ made for us, but had no idea of the full extent of God's love, mercy, and grace. As a young married couple, my first husband and I had been very active in our church, singing in the choir, and serving when we could. Even after our two sons were born, we continued in our church attendance and participation.

Then, one dark night when I was severely stressed, my mind went berserk and I left my husband and my two young sons for places unknown. That was the beginning of a downhill rollercoaster ride that lasted for the next twenty-eight years. I became angry with God for allowing me to make wrong choices and blamed him for everything that ever went wrong in my life.

On New Year's Eve 1997, I was struggling with suicide after I had lost all my possessions, my relationships with my children, my health, and the man I loved. As I was contemplating how to end my miserable life, I heard what sounded to me like a thunderous voice saying, "No! You will go to church tonight!" I searched all around to make sure no one was there with me, but the Lord and I were alone. There was no television or stereo on, so I knew it had to be God. I felt a sudden urgency to call the phone number of a church that I was given the night before, so trembling I dialed the number. A very sweet lady named Della answered the phone, so I asked her if the church was having services that night. She explained that they were having fellowship and would be praying the old year out and the new one in at midnight. She spooked me out when she asked if my name was Barbara because the phone wasn't even in my name so I knew that she didn't get it from caller ID. I asked her how she knew my name. She explained to me that God had ministered to them about a lady named Barbara who was in desperate need that night and would be calling. I reluctantly admitted that it was probably me who he had spoken of, and agreed after much pleading to go join them. She gave me directions to get to the church, but as I headed out the door to my car, I forgot them. The next thing I knew, I was there on the church parking lot. The ironic thing was that I had never been to Moore, Oklahoma before, and had even had to turn off the main highway to get there. I didn't remember even driving much of the twenty miles to get there. It was as if God himself had driven me there, and I was really scared.

I shakily went inside the foyer, and when I didn't see anyone immediately, I started to turn and run out again. Suddenly, Della threw her arms around me and exclaimed, "Barbara, we are so glad you are here!" She then took me into the fellowship hall and introduced me to about thirty people, all of whom stood up, gave me a hug, and told me they loved me. I asked how they could love me when they didn't even know me, and one of them replied, "Because God loves you!" After a while, Alethea, a beautiful blonde evangelist, invited me to go talk with her and a prayer warrior. I had determined that I would say nothing, but the dam broke and all the ugly details of my life came out like a flood. That night, as I surrendered my life to Jesus, ten tons of burdens were lifted from my shoulders, and my life changed forever! I now have joy, peace, love, and hope!

Learn more about this author, Barbara S Jones.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.