How long will it take? Will I be in labour for 50 hours or will it be two hours from go to woah like my friend down the street?
It's natural for women to wonder how long they will be in labour, and to worry if they will have the endurance and stamina to cope with a long labour. It's normal for labour, especially a first labour, to unfold gradually over several days. This is nature's way of kindly allowing your body to ripen and soften gradually, giving you time to adjust. Time to learn the rhythm of your body. The rhythm of birth. The rhythm of life!
Birth occurs within the parametres of 'Kairos'.
Consider these words from Sarah Ban Breathnach: "Chronos is clocks, deadlines, watches, calendars, agendas, planners, schedules, beepers. Chronos is time at her worst. Chronos keeps track. ...Chronos is the world's time. Kairos is transcendence, infinity, reverence, worship, joy, passion, love, the sacred. Kairos is intimacy with the Real. Kairos is time at her best. ...Kairos is Spirit's time. We exist in chronos. We long for kairos. That's our duality. Chronos requires speed so that it won't be wasted. Kairos requires space so that it might be savored. We do in chronos. In kairos we're allowed to be ... It takes only a moment to cross over from chronos into kairos, but it does take a moment. All that kairos asks is our willingness to stop running long enough to hear the music of the spheres."
You can't 'do' in birth. You have to 'be'.
Good birth attendants will not tell you what to 'do', or will not say that they have to 'do' things to you.
Good birth attendants will let you 'be'. Be within your birth.
Birth does not happen according to the Roman Calendar and the 24 hours clock. The timetable of birth is the timetable of nature. When will the spring come? When will the apple ripen and fall from the tree? If you can accpet your body, and your baby's unique rhythm and free your mind from the constrainst of our modern timetables and schedules, you may find that a loda is lifted from your shoulders, and you can relax ... accept your birth ... accept what is happening in the now ... and let the current carry you forward.
This mother of four shares: "That is how it works. That is how I got it to work for me, and I think that is the secret behind why it finally worked for me for two of my births. Nearly 8 years ago, and just over 3 years ago, I birthed with attendants who were servants to 'chronos'. This is why my labours 'failed'. Well, they were perceived, within the chronos framework, to have 'failed'. The two times I laboured and gave birth within Kairos environments, of course, everything was straightforward and went well."
This mother discovered the secret of trusting her body to Kairos time, and surrendering to the rhythm of nature. To choose birth attendants and a birth location in which you will be free to do this is vital. Be a canny consumer!
Dr. Sheila Kitzinger wrote: "The caring environment for the newborn starts with a caring environment for the labouring woman, a respect for her rhythms, patience to wait and watch, and loving support."
That respect for your birthing rhythms, that gentle patience, must start with you - and it must extend to your chosen birth attendants. If you cannot be sure that your attendants will in sinc with your unique rhythm, it's time to choose different careproviders or a difference place to birth.
Birth is God's time. It can't be rushed or programmed to suit anyone's clock. It is a time to simply be there, respecting the woman's space and the natural rhythms of her body. Think of how time ceases to have relevance when you are caught up in the presence of God worshipping Him. Or when you are in love and spending time with your beloved. Time flies by and you barely notice. Birth time is the timing of nature. Who knows when spring will come? Can a budding flower be forced open? Yet, in time, these things unfold. So does birth. Visit the ocean and see the rhythm of the waves on the shore. That right there teaches you, deep within, so much about the patterns, rhythms and power of labour.
So a tip to the women out there who seek a natural birth.
Kairos.