by Collin Reed

Created on: October 27, 2008

If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that we have to pay very close attention to the soft, still voice that sits precariously on the fine line between the conscious and subconscious.

After ten years of being in a loveless and angry marriage, I made the decision to leave my husband because I'd unexpectedly fallen in love with someone else; another woman, actually. I'd never experienced love before I met her, but when something that powerful comes out of nowhere and knocks you so far out of yourself well, is there really any other choice than to pay attention and figure out what it all means? To choose not hear that voice inside of me could have only led my life down a much more self-destructive path. She saved my life; she gave me life and for that I will always be grateful.

During the four years we were together, however, I kept changing and evolving and the pieces that once fit so perfectly for us had shifted enough that eventually nothing seemed to fit anymore. And when that relationship could no longer sustain the stresses that occurred during that time, we amicably decided that the time had come for us to go our separate ways.

When that relationship ended, I continued on my journey of self-discovery and quite enjoyed myself during the process. I grew up, I suppose. I sought resonance in everything, every action, every choice I made. So many wonderful things happened in my life, but the one thing that I was not able to find again was love.

You don't find love so much as love finds you. It's not like you can wake up one day and say, "Hey, I think I'll go and find my soul mate today!" Although I did wake up one day after eight years of dating only women, and made the decision to try dating men again. I decided that gender was an irrelevant component relative to my needs in a relationship and I wanted to see if I could make myself emotionally available to a man again. I didn't have to look long; in fact, I barely had to look at all.

It was a Sunday afternoon and I was down and out with some kind of nasty stomach virus. Too lazy to turn the channel, I ended up watching a marathon of the show "Bridezillas" where commercials for eHarmony aired every eight minutes or so. After about the fifteenth one, I figured the universe was trying to send me a message so I dragged myself over to the computer, paid my $99, and began working on my eHarmony profile.

I'd never used an online dating service before so I wasn't quite sure what to expect but, three hours and two

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>