by Danyelle Scroggins

Created on: October 27, 2008

In all reality, we must give children the benefit of the doubt. They're smarter than we think they are or than we give them credit for being. I believe Americans have it all wrong concerning children who are the products of a divorce or products of two parents living in separate homes. We automatically feel like children should be with their mothers. For some reason, we've failed to look at the importance of a father in his child's life. Well, I hate to upset you but a child is most definitely it's father seed.

Fathers are just as capable of rearing children as mothers. So, upon divorcing my ex husband, we promised not to play tug-a-war games with our children. He had just as much right as I did. Although, living apart posed somewhat of a problem, in actuality it was up to us and not our kids to solve it. We chose to put them in a place where a choice could even be considered. If we raised them the way we thought we should have, their choices and decisions mattered.

Our children chose to go to school with their father and stay with me on the weekends. This didn't bother me because I knew how good of a father he was and that God allowed me to carry the seeds of an awesome guy. He was a nurturer and I was a hard worker. Why subject my children to day cares and childcare providers and their dad was available? Did this make things between my children and myself hard? No! Why? It was their choice to live with their dad and I honored that. Did this make me less than a good mother? No! I still loved them and taught them the things that a mother should teach her children.

When they became teenagers, they decided to come back to my house. Not that anything was wrong at dad's house. They just felt like they wanted to be at my home. Our kids are the most respectable, honest, and God-fearing children I know. They understand that we are their parents and whether together or apart, we are still their parents. They made our divorce better in the aspect that we still had to show one another the uppermost respect. He always included me in the decisions made concerning our children and I did the same. It was our responsibility to raise productive, God-fearing, and educated young adults. It didn't matter what house they were in, we still had the obligation to secure them.

So, I say again, you've raised them to be responsible, and told them that what they felt mattered; then listen to how they feel. It doesn't take anything away from a mother if their child prefers to live with their

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