by Lyn Carrier

Created on: October 26, 2008   Last Updated: July 27, 2011

There is one thing that is true and that is no one can really get to know another person deep down by simply chatting or talking to them. This can only come with proper communication that involves listening and a deep desire to get to know the other person. How do we get to know someone without asking questions and observing their reactions and mannerisms?

Anyone can talk to someone but communication is almost an art form, some are great at it, some need to work on it. It's about interest, about opening up one's mind and being open to different points of view which is great if dealing with any kind of emotional issue and in some cases may actually resolve these issues.

In my experience, I've learned to embrace information given to me although I may not agree with it. I saw it as a learning curve as it helped me to see things from a different angle. Ive talked to many people in my lifetime and often talked to the same person, yet I don't know much about this person. I can only put that down to a lack of communication with that particular person. Maybe there was never any deep desire to get to know that person, as harsh as that sounds, or we just didn't ask each other the sort of questions that lead you to the heart and soul of a person.

Good communication, in my opinion is very hard. The uncertainty of not knowing whether or not you are saying the right thing or maybe wondering if questions are too personal. I rely alot on body language and facial expressions, this helps alot with determining where you stand in the conversation. I am far from an expert on this subject, but I have learned a few tricks on the way that have helped immensely.

• Maintaining eye contact shows an initial interest

• Listen attentively and preferably without distraction

• Nodding on occasion when they speak lets them know you are listening and taking in what they are saying

• Think about your response before you say it, don't talk for the sake of it, say something that has value to the conversation

There is a huge difference between talking and communicating. Talking I used to do alot of and little did I know I wasn't really saying the things I needed to say, and instead hid behind what sounded more like drivel the more i thought about it. Now I actually communicate and have to say the benefits are far greater and I have gotten to actually know some great people through open and honest communication.

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