by Gea Barker

Created on: October 25, 2008

I will never forget my parents first response when I told them that I was about to become a young, unwed, minimum wage earner, dropped out of high school, single mom: Dad - 'call me when you aren't pregnant anymore', Mom - 'Oh my God, why did you do this?'. My friends said: 'have an abortion, you'll never make it, plus you're too young'. But my Grandmother's response was the one that I held on to: 'I think babies are great, it will be just fine'. She also was the one that told me my pink mohawk was a nice color.

Fast-forward fifteen years: Anthony is tall, handsome, an honor roll student, and has a stepfather that loves him to no ends. To tell you that is was easy to get here would be a lie. I struggled, I worked my tail off, and I cried some nights because I was so tired and unsure of what to do. But nothing turned my heart around like seeing the smile on my Son's face everyday, and knowing that I had the chance to make a difference. To teach him that through diversity, with an ounce of perseverance, anyone can succeed. So for you, the fortunate young woman about to make the most profound change in your life, I offer these tips. Some were learned the hard way, and some gained by seeking the experiences of others:

1) Work is work - though it may not be your dream job, you will gain massive self-confidence in being self-supportive. I am proud to say that through hard work, I never once was on any form of welfare - I'm sure lots of single parents are doing it, but the media only tells you about all the single moms who are on welfare and what a negative experience it is. Sometimes I had to live in the less than desirable areas, but I was able to pay my rent every month and was never at the mercy of anyone else. Mine and my child's life were in my hands, I always held that to the utmost importance.

2) Learn to shop wisely - with a $2 bag of pinto beans, you can cook up enough beans for several meals. If you don't already know how to cook learn. I still feed our now family of four on less than $80 a week. Keep an out for those coupons and specials. And while all the expensive baby gadgets may seem like something you need, you really don't. All I had was a stroller and a car seat. I didn't even have a crib - my bed was just fine. My Grandmother told me the toys her babies loved the most were the plastic cooking bowls and wooden spoons in the kitchen. And she was right. Plus I could keep an eye on him while cooking. He now loves to cook food and has always been a healthy

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