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If parents haven't talked the their children about sex by the time they are preteens, the parents are already too late. By the time children reach 12 years old, they have already seen thousands of sexually charged images in their daily lives. This is true even if parents, in an attempt to preserve their children's innocence, don't watch hours of television or listens to the radio.

Driving down the street or shopping, children face images of scantily women or people posed in provocative positions. If parents take their kids to the park, there may be times when pairs of sweethearts are going at it under a tree or on the grass. Yet, there are a few tips on talking about sex with preteens.

The first step to talking about sex with preteens actually starts when children are toddlers. Parents often use euphemisms to identify body parts when their children are small. Instead, be honest with them and give them the correct words for their body parts. This serves a two-fold purpose. Parents can start the sex-talk process, and this information can be a protection against predators who search for children who don't know their bodies.

As the child gets older, have age-appropriate discussions about sex. Small children usually ask their parents where babies come from. Don't get nervous. Tell them that a baby comes out of mommies' stomachs and explain daddies' roles in terms that they can understand. Because children often tell other children what they learn at home, make sure to explain to children that they shouldn't spread these private discussions.

If parents have given short lessons about sex by the time a child is a preteen, they will not be uncomfortable about the discussions. If parents didn't talk to their children, they can still accomplish a lot in these discussions. The first step is to find a time when children and parents have each other's full attention.

Parents should also be confident when talking to their preteens. Remember, although preteens have seen a number of sexual imagery and have heard a lot of information from peers and the media, most of the information they have received is wrong. Believe it or not, parental experience is the key to providing preteens with vital resources they will need as they become teenagers.

The most important tip on talking about sex with preteens is listening to them. Before assuming that preteens know or don't know certain things, parents should ask them what they've heard from other people. Don't be shocked at what they have to say about sex, and don't laugh if someone has told them some absurd inaccuracy about sex. The quickest way to get a preteen to stop talking is to embarrass or reprimand them.

Once parents have an idea of what the preteen knows, they can begin talking to them. Asking open-ended questions will help move the discussion forward and not make it a one-sided affair. Let them ask questions, too. This will give parents an idea of how far to take the discussion.

Parents should not be timid when talking to their preteens about sex. We live in a different world than our parents, with an increase of sexual images that send off light bulbs in children's heads. Parents are the first responders to inform their children about all of these references. Talking when they are preteens also helps when they become teenagers, and sexual urges become more intense.

Learn more about this author, Cicely Richard.
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