by Emelia Rose

Created on: October 25, 2008   Last Updated: February 23, 2011

I come from a truly dysfunctional upbringing. My parents fought constantly. One night I remember my mother lying on the landing of the basement steps with a bloody nose and my father standing over-top choking her neck.

This was a typical day of home living. Being the youngest of six children we were all abused one way or the other. Physically. emotionally, and even sexually. My parents were always saying we were "good for nothing", we would "never amount to anything" and we were "always in the way".

These words inspired me to become so unlike them as a parent, a person, and as a woman. In my adult years, since having children, I am a better person. I like to say that I broke the chain. My father's family were all the same. The men beat their wives and talked horrible to their loved ones. Well, I chose not to be the dysfunctional family unit. I knew at a young age that this way of living was a sickness. Not normal. If we as humans really knew what normalcy is, I knew that this way wasn't normal.

As the years went on my mother finally left my father after I graduated high school(I was the first female on my mom and dad's side to finish high school). She received and had given her own share of abuse for twenty-six years. When she did she became medically ill and couldn't take care of herself. What a waste all those years of abuse only to become mentally ill in the end. It made me more aware of the men in my life and what not to take as a woman. I was hit only once by a man and he didn't walk away with his head up. I put a good hurting on him. To see me you wouldn't believe I could hurt a fly. I am five two, one hundred and twenty pounds but I have the force and the mentality to know the first signs of trouble. Growing up with four brothers helped in the long run. To them I say thank you for all you were when we were growing up. We all came out with our heads high. A few took longer to get over the dysfunction and a couple are still coping but we are prosperous.

If my parents weren't so harsh I would not be who I am today. I strive to be better. To prove my parents wrong and I have done that in my life. But I'm still striving to do better, to further myself, and to be a caring and loving mother. At this time in my life I am a Manager of a large retail store and going to school to get my degree in Business. I have accomplished so much so far but still feel I need more. In March I will be a grandmother and look so forward to holding a newborn baby again. I never understood how any parent/mother could not love and nurture an innocent child and treat them like nothing. Like trash. Like a burden. I am a better person for my parents actions.

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