by Rowann

Created on: October 25, 2008

Heart's Tattoo

I remember
Seeing drawn, vivid colour
On tightened skin.
Did it hurt, I asked him
When tribal lines, joined by chrysanthemums,
Fish, dragons,
Letters,
Twisted loop of star-symbol,
First capered over muscular planes and hollows.

"It hurt-
It hurt,
But not as much
As when she left me.

When that needle dragged bloody pain
Over tight skin
Again
And again
I lost myself in it,

Drained my rage into nerves' scream
Peace dripping into raw eyes
And reddened shreds of hurt"

I know.
I remember.
When my insides twisted into burning knots of hollowed
Despair.

The needle couldn't hold a candle
To the pain that crouched there.

And now.
Feeling like I'd leapt 30 storeys,
To jackknife cleanly into the
Liquid depths of her eyes.
Swimming, safe and beloved in the caress
Of her words,
Her lips slipping over mine,
Saying
"It's fine,
It'll all be fine"

I believed
For that one heartbeaten moment
Into the next,
Believed in the crystal certainty of unbreakable love,
Glittering and shining, a thousand facetted turns of beauty
Reflecting endless paths of shared joy;
Of futures yet unlived,
Hope rising,
Tender orphaned bubbles,
From dark oceanic depths.
Believed until,
I squeezed too tightly, eager fingers shattering the
Fragile jewel
Into bloody
Shards.

Ripped lines on my palms are a weak echo
The tattoo's needle drawing inky blood
Is nothing
Compared to the
Pulled jerk beat of
The stone heart.

Lost in an idiocy of love,
Playing the fool,
Rippling on layers of her laughter,
Rolling in sweet lotus petals,
Of scented forgetfulness.

Drawing the lacy silk
Around my senses,
Her strong will looped over me,
Her strong arms held me,
Her sweet tenderness
Drowned me.
Pulling the noose until it fit,
Handing me back
the ropes;
A silent farewell,
(Not even
A hastened,
Sympathetic kiss.
For my prepaid
No-return ticket
To Hell.)

Ten thousand tattoos over an acre of flesh
Blackened, bleeding,
Thrusted needles traced on eyelids,
Tongue, inside of ears, lips
Thumb
Are nothing.
Nothing to one
Who is muted by pain's
Eidetic memory
Left
Empty,
Aching
Numb.

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