by Lisa Davies

Created on: October 24, 2008

Developing a friendship with your ex-spouse is very critical for your child or children's success and acceptance of the divorce. Without some sort of friendship between the parents, you are placing your child in a position and situation that he or she should never have to be in. This position could eventually alter their own life's path, depending on the degree of animosity between the parents.

In some cases, depending on the circumstances that initialy cause the divorce - the children may blame themselves, without you being aware that they feel this way to begin with. Most parents are usually so distracted with all the details of a divorce, that sometimes they become unaware of how the divorce has affected their children. For instance, you might ask your child how she is doing with the divorce, and the child may tell you, she is fine - you take the answer and move on, not realizing that she is torturing herself inside, she blames herself, or that she feels torn between the two of you.

Depending on their age, brings allot into factor, but lets say their in early teens, that alone can be daunting,being a teen is no easy task, which I am sure most parents can relate to in some small way. Then you add in the constant hostility between the parents, feeling like they must divide their time equally without hurting either parents feelings, and keep up with their normal responsibilities - this is allot of pressure for one child or teen.

Once you bring a child into your marriage, it's no longer about the two of you, the child or childrens needs must be considered and when viewing from a divorce standpoint - they must be put first. Not to say that you shouldn't divorce for the kids sake, however, establishing a friendship, if nothing else but for them.

Generally the mere act of a divorce is never pleasant for any couple, thus making it challenging for all family members involved, however take time out of the warfare between the two of you, put yourself in your child's position - you both will see your way through to make a truce. No one wants to cause their children pain, we work our whole lives for our children, "not to have to endure what we did". We always want "better" for our kids, that's only natural, and a divorce should never count that out. Remembering that we are always setting an example for our children, no matter what aspects or circumstances may be.

Grow up. put your children first, and all else will come into place naturally.

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