by Jane Allyson

Created on: October 24, 2008   Last Updated: March 15, 2012

To encourage a partnership to flourish, we form patterns of conformity that allow our relationships to grow and develop.These patterns translate themselves into a framework of expectations that help to promote a sense of trust, well being, and security.

If your relationship is having difficulties, then these patterns will be broken, revealing gaps and inconsistencies, that at the time, may not make much sense to you, but in the long run, you may realize that what you had seen was a big red flag.

Some of the biggest red flags in a relationship will often point to infidelity and the warning signs are so obvious aren't they? Yet we often choose to ignore the huge gossamer sheets of good reason, unfurled and billowing in our mind's eye.

Most people have certain predictability to their lives, and if they suddenly make a change to their pattern of behavior you should be wondering what the reason for that could be. Sometimes the changes can be very subtle, such as merely changing the kind of clothes that they wear or the type of perfume or aftershave they have been using.

Some red flags can be overwhelming, such as when you discover that you are suffering from an STD. You may even allow yourself to be lulled into a sense of false security by the nice doctors at the clinic, who will do their level best to leave it to your partner to reveal the haunting truth. (Or hide it from you)

How do you conduct your relationship?. You may have slid into bad habits and lost the art of effective communication, which invariable leads to argument, misunderstanding and resentment. Do you find that your partner has started sleeping in another room, complaining that you snore too much? Or do they make excuses to avoid sharing certain activities with you?

A red flag in any language means stop. It can indicate danger or the finish of something. So what can you do about it?

Relationship help can be just around the corner, or even one click away. Organizations such as Relate', can be easily accessed from the comfort of your home, and they can offer advice, relationship counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and personal support, by either phone or through their web site.

So, pitstop your relationship and get it back on track... I hope you are a winner!

References:

http://www.relate.org.uk/ (23/10/2008)

Couples - Communication http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/couples/comm_coun selling.shtml (23/10/2008)

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