by Pamela Kennedy

Created on: October 24, 2008   Last Updated: January 19, 2009

Things every lesbian needs to know when looking for love are various. I will start with the unwritten young lesbian dating rules. Do not date women with children, do not date bi-sexual women, and do not date married women. Throw the first two rules out. Now, you can begin to look for love. If you want to be happy, you must first be happy with yourself. Once you are satisfied with yourself you can begin to look. If you are trying to fall in love with someone to avoid your issues, that is going to lead to heartache or arguments. If you are secure in yourself, then you can begin to seek someone who complements you.

To figure out who would compliment you, you must figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are. When you find someone who has strong points where your weak points are you are on the right track. Find someone who makes you laugh. Humor is always a positive in a relationship. Along with a sense of humor it is also important to have patience with your new crush. Do not scare them off on the first date by asking to move in and marry you. Love takes time, agree to an amount of time that the two of you will remain seperate (like a year for example). If the seperate time lasts longer, that's okay. Get to know the person you are dating. You cannot force that special girl to fall in love with you. Love happens over time.

In my experience, those I fell in love with at first sight and had immediate feelings for, did not develope into great relationships. The best relationship I have had, is the one in which she did not want me right away. Neither of us had those puppy dog love crushes on each other. We agreed to see each other and took it slowly. Boundaries were set up for what was and was not appropriate for the relationship, as a child was involved. We also established good communication. Using a rational and emotional approach to dating is key. If you use your brain with your heart, it is hard to go wrong. Your heart tells you that it feels good and exciting, while your brain rationalizes and tells you warning signs of a bad relationships. Your brain will also tell you when you should or should not spend your money on things you do not need, or that maybe you should not got a joint cell phone account during the second week of being with that special someone.

Good communication skills are important in a new budding relationship and long lasting relationships. Good communication just shouts 'I love you' to that special someone. When you take the time to listen

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