by Sean Maitner

Created on: October 24, 2008

It was late April and high time we fished the "Gorge". A lesser man than my Uncle Dave would have never suggested it, but Uncle Dave was the type to suggest now, pay later. We arrived at the "Gorge" in Dave's Jeep and it was then that I tried a last ditch effort at circumventing the testosterone that had driven us all here in the first place (along with the Jeep, of course).

"Dave, for God's sake, we don't have to do this"

Dave was a cool customer behind Ray Bans.

"Sean, I will tell you again for the last time, if we can't handle The Gorge, then

we may as well retire now and never fish anywhere again. Besides, the fishing is always good there."

So there it was, staring me right in the face like a cobra, waiting for any sudden movement. At the time the only movement I was worried about was the one that was going to happen to my bowels when I again laid eyes on The Gorge.

I turned to look at my brother. He was wearing sunglasses that I later found out were really just blinders. Their purpose was to block out any visions of The Gorge until it was too late and he was on the boat and floating directly for it employing the same technique equestrian's use on horses to get them to do anything stupid. I could see the futility in talking with my brother so I next turned to look at Dave's son, my cousin Paul.

He was fondling the family rosary. Between the Our Father's and Hail Mary's I thought I could detect some backbone - but that may have just been my imagination. Finally I looked at my cousin Brian. Ah, Brian - the only one of us with good sense. Surely he wouldn't put in for this nonsense. But when I looked toward him my gaze was met with thin air.

"Where's Brian?"

"He's home with the flu. Happens every April. Too bad too, cause he's gunna miss the float again."

"I'm sick too!" I tried.

"Well," said Dave, "Nothing like The Gorge to get you to feeling better. Now where did I leave those blinders?"

We took one more look at The Gorge and then drove upstream to put in our canoes. As we unloaded our gear I noticed the first aid kit was about half empty.

"What gives?" I asked, holding up the kit.

"Had to administer some first aid to your brother to get him to come with us." Uncle Dave replied.

"But that kit is for emergencies. Besides, it's the last bottle of whiskey we have."

Dave didn't seem to mind. Instead he handed me a couple of paddles. We made our way to the river and launched off on our voyage. My brother and I were in one canoe and Dave and Paul were in the other.

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