by Lisa M. Hase

Created on: October 24, 2008

When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions

By Sue Monk Kidd

I was first drawn to When the Heart Waits for its author, Sue Monk Kidd, whose previous works (The Secret Life of Bees) I have read and who I know to be of best-seller caliber. But I was also drawn to the book's apt title, for I often feel as if my own heart is waiting for something intangible.

More than simply relaying Kidd's personal journey through the mid-life experience, this engaging piece of non-fiction work takes a closer look at the art of waiting. Rather than avoiding or rushing life experiences Kidd suggests entering and experiencing changes as we are faced with them, even and especially when it is uncomfortable or even painful to do so.

Kidd draws on myriad biblical parables and familiar childhood fairy tales and fables to illustrate her well-placed points. Additionally, she builds on philosophies developed by the likes of Jung, Erickson, Campbell and Eckhart and the theology of Merton, St. Teresa of Avila and Hildegard of Bingen. The book's overarching metaphor is that of the metamorphosis of the butterfly, particularly the cocoon stage. More than any other symbol, the cocoon best illustrates the act of waiting while changing, all the while suspended in darkness a position that affords neither foresight nor action.

In the first of four parts, Entering the Question, Kidd defines midlife as a transitional period between morning, when we develop our relationships with the outer world through ego, and afternoon, when we investigate the inner world. The midlife experience is likened to a time of reinvention and reflection. But regardless of the relative discomfort these realizations may bring, Kidd invites us to view this developmental stage not as a time of burnout, but as a summoning to enter a spiritually deeper life; a difficult choice given our compulsion to keep up with society's accelerated pace.

In Passage of Separation, the book's second, and perhaps most important, section, Kidd introduces the idea of "diapause," a concept she discovered while researching metamorphosis of butterflies. She learned that "caterpillars don't yield themselves to the cocoon at the same rate. When the moment to spin the chrysalis arrives, some of the actually resist and cling to their larval life. They put off entering the cocoon until the following spring, postponing their transformation a year or more. This state of clinging has a name; it's called the "diapause." There's a natural

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