by Jonathan Evatt

Created on: October 24, 2008

What does it mean to regret something?

A typical dictionary definition of the word regret is "to remember with distress or longing". The word "regret" finds its roots in words from old English, and old Germanic languages which mean "to weep". So what we essentially have is the act of looking back on the past with a sense of remorse or weeping. In my experience I can only harbour regrets when I am in judgement of my experience of life, and therefore not accepting how things wereand in the Now not exception them as they are. This implies I did not accept those events and experiences in the moment I was actually engage with them... when they were a part of my here and now. Regret and judgement are so closely interwoven it may be accurate to say they are mutually inclusive of each other. If I regret I judge, if I judge I will experience regrets. So would it be just as relevant to ask yourself now, "is it possible for me to live without judgement of my past and present experiences?"

When one talks about living without regrets I see a few potential scenarios which might bring this about, or at least appear to. We'll explore this later situation first:

Perhaps I simply refuse to consciously reflect on my past actions and experiences, or when I do I shut off from experiencing my true feelings pertaining to this things. It could be said then that I experience no regrets. It's highly possible, however, that I am sitting on a whole host of judgements and regrets about the past yet simply refusing to feel the pain I associate with these experiences. Subconsciously I am harbouring regrets and yet I perceive the pain of facing those experiences to be so great that I simply refuse to consciously acknowledge them. So whilst someone in this state of denial may like to believe they have no regrets, I think we will both agree this is far from the truth of what it means to "live without regrets".

An alternative situation is where you truly do live without regrets. Both consciously and subconsciously I am free of harbouring remorse about my past experience. I am able to reflect on my past memories without a feeling of sadness and weeping (regret). I can even fully recapitulate my memory of my entire life so far and experience no remorse or regret whilst doing so. For this possibility to arise it must be so that I hold no judgement about my past experience. I am accepting and even loving what is and what was. In my experience this is not only possible, it is profoundly necessary for

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next Page >>