by Shaheen Darr

Created on: October 24, 2008   Last Updated: January 05, 2011

You enter a relationship with a desire is to love and share your life with someone who will reciprocate those feelings back to you. While some couples manage to do this quite successfully, others are not so lucky. Recognizing red flags early on in a relationship means that changes can be made so that both partners can either improve their relationship or end it to avoid heartbreak later.

Lack of communication is one red flag that has to be heeded before the relationship can move forward. When two people decide to share their lives, running a home or bringing up children are decisions that have to be jointly taken to make a success of them. One partner cannot possibly do it alone with a "silent partner" beside them. Similarly, looking after each other should be a joint effort. A partner who is withdrawn and not willing to show any love either through communication or in a physical sense will leave the other partner feeling unfulfilled and insecure.

Living with an argumentative partner is another problem that should be confronted the moment it starts or it will continue throughout the life of that relationship. The underlying reasons for the arguments should be discussed and resolved away from children and in an atmosphere where you can be civil with one another and not make a scene.

Partners who lie or are secretive can destroy a relationship unless they seek counselling to help them open up and start trusting themselves and other people again. Learning to be open and honest with one another will help to lay a strong foundation of trust so that the relationship can thrive.

Another warning sign is someone who refuses to work and earn a living; it means they are lazy, uncaring and irresponsible with no ambitions or drive to improve their lives in any way. This can have a negative effect on the life of the other partner who has to share the home and unless a drastic change is initiated, it can bring the relationship to an end.

Partners who flirt openly or have a tendency to cheat should be best avoided to prevent being hurt later on in the relationship. Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and without it; there will be no solid foundation to build anything on.

Being abusive is one red flag area that should never be ignored. An abusive partner needs professional help as without it the abuse can continue throughout the relationship. The effect of this behaviour on the other partner and the children can be traumatic.

If there is genuine love and couples seek help in getting rid of these red flag areas in their lives, there is no reason why a relationship cannot survive. The main thing is admitting that there is a problem that needs to be addressed and seeking help together to make a change for the better.

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