by Willow Lissette

Created on: October 24, 2008

Talking to you preteen about sex can be embarrassing for both the parent and the child. It has to be done though. Try to start out slow, tell them what you want to talk to them about and let let understand they shouldn't feel embarrassed to ask you any question they might have. If you notice your child seems too embarrassed to ask question, try not to leave anything out. Also don't ask your child if he or she is having sex, this will only embarrass them more.

While talking to your child, discuss the importance of birth control. Discuss each kind of birth control on the market and how they are used. Explain that you can double up on different ones, such as a condom and a diaphragm. Explain that barriers must be used to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Also discuss the importance of birth control pills and diaphragms.

You also want to talk about sexually transmitted diseases. The different types, the symptoms, and what to expect if they do contract one of them. Also express the importance of condoms to prevent STD's. This might scare some younger teens, reassure them you are only telling them what can happen and not that it will happen. Remember the object of this discussion is to inform them not to scare them from having sex.

Pregnancy is another thing you need to discuss. Most parents do not want their child to get pregnant or get someone pregnant, but it does happen. Discuss the different options that kids have today such as abortion and adoption. Let them understand that these are not ways of birth control just different options that they do have if and unwanted pregnancy should occur. Also talk about keeping the baby and the responsibilities that come with it.

Pressure to have sex from peers is also an issue that teens deal with. Tell them that no means no. It doesn't matter how bad the other person pleads or begs, no still means no. If ever and uncomfortable situation arises they need to get out of there as soon as they can and contact someone, either you the parent or another trusted adult.

Most of all listen to what you preteen has to say. If they have questions answer them to the best of your knowledge, if you do not know the answer tell them you will get back to them. Do your research and answer the question as soon as you can. Let them know if they ever have questions or need to talk you will be there for them.

Under any circumstance do not get angry if you child comes to you and says they either have had sex or are planning on having sex. If they see your angry they will turn from you and not talk to you about it. As a parent you need to have that line of communication open. Even if you are not pleased with it you still need to keep your cool. You can tell them you are not happy about them having sex, but you will be there to listen. Make sure they know you will always be there to talk and answer questions for them.

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