by Robin Wilder

Created on: October 24, 2008   Last Updated: October 30, 2008

Red flags in a relationship, are you kidding me? Is there such a thing as a relationship without red flags? The red flags are not necessarily because of the other person, but instead they are flags being flown of our own accord. We as humans are instinctively territorial of our own boundaries and limits. We protect our hearts from pain and our minds from hassle. Our ability to form relationships is out of our need for companionship and acceptance. Unfortunately our need for companionship has no limits, which is why we have such trouble with acceptance. We aimlessly search for the right companion who accepts us. This is the problem, if we can't accept ourselves then why would anyone else?

I've been in a relationship or two and each time the ending has never been about the red flags, it's been about what I want and am comfortable with; period. If I had figured that out first ,then there would be no brightly colored flags that I must watch out for. If I had a good relationship with myself then I would instinctively know who my soul mate should be. Unfortunately, there are not many of us who have a good relationship with ourselves. Instead we seek out a companion who will complete our incompleteness. Then, when it isn't going as we planned, we start looking for the wrongs of our companion...RED FLAGS!

There are, however, the initial red flags. Keep in mind, if this person is truly your soul mate, then there would be no red flags. There would only be speed bumps or hurdles to cross. Maybe a yellow flag or even a white one, from time to time. Even without red flags, you know when someone is not right for you. But sometimes, we will ignore the obvious to obtain the inevitable; Companionship and acceptance... If we catch those red flags when they are waving over our own heads, we'd save loads of time looking for someone else's. We can only take care of ourselves and our own flags, which will inevitably attract someone with a similar flag count.

If you encounter red flags or (bad feelings) about someone, it's simple, that person is not for you. If you stay and ignore the signs, then you are the one with the problem. Just because you don't wave a flag, doesn't mean you don't have one.

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