by Ken Kupstis

Created on: October 24, 2008

"HELL to the NO", as my younger co-workers would say. Modern day relationships are NOT giving men excuses to escape from responsibilities. It would in fact seem that there are nothing BUT responsibilities for men in modern day relationships. Unless you're what is known as a PUA (Pick-Up Artist), once you enter into a relationship you are...

A) The Concierge. Pick out the entertainment-after ensuring it suits her. While it would be great for women to suggest a date (and/or pay for it), it's mostly unheard of.

B) The Chauffeur. To their credit, some women will meet you half-way with the driving in a relationship. I can see this trend unfortunately declining as gas prices increase.

C) The Bodyguard. At any sign of trouble, it is the unwritten law that the man in the relationship will spring into action and crush, kill, destroy, maim, cripple, snap, immolate and/or vaporize any and all threats. As this is a genetic impulse, 'responsibility' doesn't really apply. It can even be a thrill, and an opportunity to display strength, courage and machismo. Provided you don't end up dead. This is actually only a problem in relationships where the woman likes to start fights in order to see 'her hero' in action.

D) The Banker/Loan Officer/Human ATM, unless you're one of those lucky guys who have found a 'sugar mama'. While 'sugar mamas' seem like dreams come true, they actually deplete a man's self-esteem and personal power over time. The best relationships are when both partners share their resources for the good of the relationship. Some women are stepping to the plate and contributing, but the majority still believe that sex is the only contribution they need to make.

These four responsibilities are necessary in the 'courting' stages of a relationship. Should the relationship proceed further, into cohabitation or marriage, add the following:

E) The Laborer. The yard, the trash, the plumbing, the electrical work, the major repairs and heavy lifting are left to the man. While women may cook and clean-with the latter bordering on an obsession complex-they will wisely draw the line at any labour that may break either nails or backs. No harm, no foul, except when the 'honey-do' list comes into existence and they add more work than necessary.

F) The Breadwinner. Goes without saying. Economic necessity may stipulate that a woman can, should, or must bring in an income in order to maintain the household, but they can opt out via pregnancy & motherhood. Men cannot. They can try, but will find themselves out on the tiles before too long.

I personally find the title of this particular debate ludicrous. With the majority of divorces being initiated by women, shouldn't the debate be titled "Are modern day relationships giving women excuses to escape from responsibilities"? I would also say that men don't have excuses to escape from responsibilities (there will always be responsibilities, even if only to oneself), they have reasons to opt out of them altogether. Various groups like MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) and Men's Rights Groups are showing that an underreported but significant sexual sea change is underway.

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