by Ma. Teresa Baniaga

Created on: October 23, 2008   Last Updated: April 07, 2011

So, is there hope after a breach of trust?

There are people who are naturally forgiving, lenient and understanding. They make the perfect half of a relationship whether it be romance or simply friendship. These kind souls are quick to open themselves to an erring partner or friend again, and again, and again. I dare say that they are the bravest of all because they have the courage to expose themselves to possible hurt and pain just one more time.

Zeroing in on a romantic relationship, it is quite an interesting thing to consider how the bond mutates or gets transformed after an act of infidelity a violation of trust if you like. The ball will definitely be on the erring partner's side and the way he or she plays it will determine whether the relationship survives or will die a sorry death.

Sometimes, remorse is not enough. A cooling off period may be beneficial to allow the aggrieved party to heal, think and reconsider.
Weighing of the options comes next, as both parties decide whether there is merit in rebuilding the ruined trust or totally abandoning the prospect of life as a couple altogether.

At this stage of a relationship, efficient communication and maturity are vital in order to sort things out and if all else fail, to part ways without too much anger. This is easier said than done, particularly for the aggrieved party. That is why it is up to the erring partner to play it right by being calm, composed, gentle and contrite. Dousing the aggrieved partner's fury with penitent acts usually works, coupled with a humble acceptance of his or her wrongdoing, not to mention a promise to remain faithful henceforth.

Nothing is more hurtful for someone whose trust has been betrayed, than to be blamed for the other partner's act of infidelity. While there may be some truth to the accusation (i.e., she is not as loving and attentive to his needs anymore), if an erring partner wants to salvage the relationship, he or she should not mention that at this critical point. There are other ways and opportunities to bring up the matter when the problem at hand has been resolved.

A solid foundation of trust, respect and assurances of love proves to be very helpful also if a relationship has to survive a trying time like infidelity of one of the partners. The erring partner always has the past track record of faithfulness to back his or her claim that what happened with the third party was not pre-meditated and that it was not meant to be taken seriously. Of course, the effectiveness

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