by Debbie Paulsen

Created on: October 23, 2008   Last Updated: November 04, 2008

My house used to be the hang out house. I raised my kids to be compassionate, and to remember, when looking at others, there but for the grace of God go I. They took me quite literally, and for years, as the four of them passed through high school, one right after the other, a steady stream of waif like teens, passed through the house.

They always managed to befriend the friendless. The ones in need. Each of them came with their own demons, and their own way of dealing with the demons.

These kids would get together and start talking about growing up, and before you knew it they would be trying to out do each other, who had it the worst. Seth, Thomas, Chris, Mallory, Jon, Daniel, Kat, J.T., Marquis, and many others. It was good for them to get together and vent like that. Each of them was a story of their own, as was Jenny.

Jenny was only two the first time drugs put her mom in jail. Don't ask why the courts continued to return her to her mothers care. She was about four, when her dad died of an overdose. Her entire life was spent bouncing from one low income housing area, to another.

By the time Jenny met my daughter, she was all of fourteen. A goth, dressed in ragged black, oversized clothes, on her way to hard core drug use, drinking almost daily, and constantly putting herself into dangerous situations. When her mom went to jail again, in her senior year, Jenny came to stay with us.

She was sufferring from low self esteem, she felt ugly and unwanted, insecure about her future. Her angry, defensive attitude had pushed everybody away. Except My Megs.

When she finally got to where she was opening up a little bit more about her feelings she told us why she drank, and smoked pot. She told us, she drank to forget. To forget she was ugly, to forget her mom did not love her enough to turn her life around, to forget the friends made, and lost, with the constant moving to different school districts. She drank to forget. Like so many other teenagers.

We had a great year that year, and Jenny really blossomed. She was the same size as Megan, and for the first time in her life, she had access to a wardrobe. With three girls in the family the closets had plenty to choose from. For homecoming the girls dyed red and black stripes in their hair, and and decorated the Jeep that had become "The Girls". Jenny made friends.

One day, just before graduation she came out on the porch, and sat next to me. She said she just wanted me to know she was okay, and she did not need to drink anymore.She thanked us for giving her a good time in her life to remember.

After graduation we found Jennys grandmother. Jenny graduated this past September, with an associates degree.

Learn more about this author, Debbie Paulsen.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.