by E K Stapleton

Created on: October 23, 2008   Last Updated: October 30, 2008

Although every relationship is unique, there are obvious signs that should send up red flags in a relationship. They may not all be cause to end the relationship, but further investigation should be carried out. This will let you know if you're in need of some relationship help, or if you should send out an S.O.S. and seek refuge.

You've enjoyed many quiet evenings together at your place, yet you've never been to your partner's home. Obviously there is something to hide. Whether it be a wife and kids, a sty unfit for a pig or some creepy shrine honoring Elvis, you need to uncover the truth.

Your forty year old boyfriend still lives with his parents. Unless he is a devoted son who resides there to provide care for them, it's likely the sign of a man who hasn't grown up. You will probably discover he's not independent or financially responsible. His mother likely does his laundry and prepares his meals, while dad still spots him a twenty to gas up his car.

Proceed with caution if your partner is recently single. Time is needed to recover after a break up. If your partner has jumped right back in the saddle, you're apt to wind up being the rebound relationship. You may end up being used to fill a void or sew some wild oats. The bottom line is, you'll likely get hurt in the end.

When you're dating someone who becomes attached too quickly, it will be as obvious as the nose on your face. Talk of marriage and kids may begin after a few dates, or they may tell you they are in love with you. This person is so desperate for a companion it probably wouldn't matter if you were Jack the Ripper. It's bad enough when you forget to add fabric softener to the wash and your pants cling, you don't need this monkey clinging to your back.

A tiny bit of jealousy can be flattering, but extreme jealousy should set off alarm bells along with the red flags. This is not a display of love, rather an assertion of control, power and ownership. Remaining in this type of relationship is toxic and self destructive. Get out before your entire life is dictated for you.

Abuse of any kind should forewarn you of your partner's true character, and should only happen twice. The first and last time. Whether the abuse be verbal, emotional or physical, it's not a situation you want to remain in. This volatile and unpredictable behavior is not only intimidating, it can easily turn deadly.

Everybody finds themselves in a jam from time to time, but if you're involved with someone who seems to continually ask for money, play it smart. You may have found yourself a player who's interest in you is financial, not romantic. Cut off the cash flow and see how interested they are then.

At least take heed of the red flags that present themselves in your relationship. To save yourself a lot of grief, heartache and aggravation, you need to rely on your survival instincts. Don't just wave the white flag and surrender yourself to a dead end relationship.

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