by Teresa Brouwer

Created on: October 22, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

As parents we educate our teens about safe sex and saving oneself, but we must educate our teens about abuse and healthy relationships. Teens have to educate themselves and recognize the signs of an abuser, and how to know whether or not they are being verbally and emotionally abused.

Massachusettes Youth Risk Behavior Survey stated, "40 percent of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 report knowing someone their own age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. Another survey revealed that eight percent of high school-aged girls answered yes when asked if "a boyfriend or date has ever forced sex against your will."

RELATIONSHIP ABUSE/DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Domestic violence and relationship abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating. Abuse can cause physical injury and even death.

Some teen dating violence may even use the "date rape drug" also known as GHB (gammahydroxybutyric acid), Rohypnol (Flunitrazepam), and Ketamine (Ketamine Hydrochloride). These drugs lead to sexual assault and teens should learn safety techniques on how to protect themselves from being drugged by either not drinking or by holding their hand over their drink.

SIGNS OF AN ABUSER

1. Low self-esteem: Abuse is about power and control, however, most abusers have low self-esteem. Their power and control stems from the lack of control they had as a child or something that has happened in their past.

2. Learned behavior: In a national survey of more than 2,000 American families, approximately 50 percent of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children. Abuse is learned behavior, therefore, it's important for a teen to know about their boyfriend/girlfriend's homefront.

3. Jealousy: Abusers tend to be very jealous of the opposite sex, friends, and family members. They have a fear of "losing" what they think is theirs.

4. Quickly involved: Abusers work fast! As soon as they are in a relationship, they want to jump to the next level.

5. Materialistic/Gifts: Peacemakers are those little things that make us forgive and forget. Whenever something bad happens, it's followed with an apologetic gift.

6. Gives tracking devices: An abuser has this obsession with keeping tabs on their victim. They want to know their every move and what better way of knowing but by offering to buy them a cellphone.

SIGNS OF A PERSON BEING ABUSED

1. Appearance: Most girls

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