by Jessica Worsencroft

Created on: October 22, 2008   Last Updated: November 22, 2010

Imagine you are driving and traffic is getting very heavy when all of a sudden an argument breaks out between your children in the backseat, and you are losing your focus (not to mention your patience). Now you have to do something quick before it gets dangerous.

Wouldn't it be great if you could stop the noise instantly with just a few words? You may be wondering how you will do this, how it will work for you and your family, and how you will get your kids to cooperate. This article will explain this new kind of time out and how it works, in an instant.

After listening to my children's many, many arguments, bickering, and interruptions, I had to think of something that would work when "BE QUIET!" for the 10th time didn't. So, in a moment of desperation, I stumbled across something that worked instantly, and I wanted to scream from the hilltops, "Parents everywhere, listen up!"

While things are calm in your household, let your kids know that the family will soon begin playing a "game" called Instant T.O. (which stands for time out or time off). Let them know that when anyone in the family becomes stressed or just needs a moment of silence, they will say "Instant T.O." signaling everyone to be quiet for just a few minutes until you then say "Free T.O." when everyone can talk again.

Why Instant T.O. works:

1. It is presented as a game.

2. No one is being punished.

3. Everyone must be quiet.

4. Anyone can start the game.

5. It is only for a very short time (usually 1-3 minutes).

It is a game in the sense that everyone will cooperate, and it is a game that everyone wins! Instant T.O. sidesteps anyone being in trouble while still getting you that "breather" you need. No one will feel alienated since everyone (parents included) must be quiet when an Instant T.O. is called.

Anyone in the family can call an Instant T.O., which allows children to be involved and therefore more willing to cooperate. Also, the Instant T.O. is only for a few minutes at a time, so you will not get any resistance as everyone knows they will get to talk or play again very soon.

Another suggestion would be to have books ready for them to look at when you call an Instant T.O. so those children with a short attention span don't get frustrated, especially if you happen to call a few of them in a short period. It is also a good idea to have several practices before you actually have to use it.

Remember, if you and your family can have fun with this, everyone will enjoy their brief moments when someone calls an Instant T.O.

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