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my life for several more years until finally the cracks in my marriage finally broke and we divorced. With that I made a decision to start a completely new life and I moved 15-hundred miles away to South Florida.

Reducing the stress in my life helped, for a while. But the disease wasn't to keep quiet for long. Now I faced a totally new challenge; finding a doctor who would continue with the same course of treatment. It's been 6 years and I'm still looking for one who will. I went from doctor to doctor, from specialist to specialist. They all wanted to follow the "standard" course of treatment which included oral steroids, which I can't tolerate. No one would seriously look at my medical records and try to take the blinders off and do what had been working. So I stopped going to the doctors. I continued with the anti-inflammatories and anti-depressant and tried to maintain a low level of stress. It worked for a while. Then, I lost my job and my medical insurance. So no doctors for almost 3 years. As luck would have it I had only just gotten on my partners health insurance. We're lucky that the county we live in has a domestic partnership law. He and I were able to register as domestic parters and he was able to add me to his health insurance. Four, yes four! days later I was the emergency room and ICU. I thought I was having a heart attack. I had all of the classic symptoms. They ordered a heart catheterization, which terrified me! What they found terrified me more! I was diagnosed with a mild form of pulmonary hypertension, caused by the Lupus. This is a killer disease, no cure and little treatment. I had an 800lb gorilla sitting on my chest. Breathing was nearly impossible, and forget taking a deep breath! This went on for 12 weeks, 3 stays in the hospital, 6 trips to the ER and visits to a pulmonologist, rheumatologist and a pulmonary hypertension specialist. Still the gorilla, who I've named Dorge, lived on! I worked every day and slept as much as I could. I felt totally worthless at home. I could barely take care of myself forget about taking care of my family or house. I spent many hours in tears. It was so frustrating that none of the medications were helping and none of the doctors cold seem to agree on what to do next. I had almost given up when I decided to call the cardiologist who had made the diagnosis.

He personally returned my call and listed to what had been going on and what was and wasn't helping. He wanted to try a new drug but told me it might

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