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There can be many red flags in a relationship, some subtle and some not so much. Waking to find your significant other standing over you with a carving knife would be one of those not so subtle red flags.

There are others and they can be easily overlooked. Some you do not want to discover. Some you discover and misinterpret. And some just hit like a lightening bolt out of the blue.

File this under relationship help. As in, you need some.

A relationship red flag is failure to share yourself. That magic "in synch" thing you once had is gone. You sit out the dancing while she whirls around the floor. You stay home and do laundry while he goes bowling. Yes, you both have a life but there is a life that involves both of you. When that disappears, RED FLAG!

You know you need relationship help when you cannot agree on a restaurant to eat at. Meals are as intimate an experience as you can have outside the bedroom. You used to share a meal. Now you both finally settle on a place to eat that neither of you want, or worse, you stay home and each of you fixes your own meal. Relationships are intimate in other ways than sexual. Lose the intimacy, RED FLAG!

The topics the two of you talk about can say a lot about your relationship. Conversation and communication improve a relationship.If you cannot talk to him about work or he cannot tell you about the funny thing his secretary did, your relationship has a problem. If you feel you have to censor what you say, RED FLAG!

You don't have to sleep together. You don't. But if you used to and don't now, you might have a problem. Sharing a bed, sharing sexual intimacy, both are key to maintaining a romantic relationship. When one of you no longer has a desire to be close, physically close, RED FLAG!

Everyone has friends, even those people in love. You need space for those friends. But, if a time comes when you need more space for your friends, or for one special friend, your relationship has a problem. Few relationships can survive intimacy with a lover and with a best friend. When you push your lover aside for a friend, RED FLAG!

These red flags for a relationship have two things in common.

The first is inability to communicate. When you cannot talk to someone, you are losing the relationship.

The second is the loss of intimacy. When being close, physically close or emotionally close, to someone is difficult or impossible, you are losing the relationship.

Losing part of a relationship is a RED FLAG!

Learn more about this author, Charles Simmins.
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