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Dearest winter

How do I loathe thee, let me count the ways.

I hate climbing out of my nice warm bed and having my toes touch a freezing cold floor. Because of you I am forced to wear flannel pajamas and sleep with two duvets. And if I misplace my fuzzy slippers, the trek to the bathroom turns into an icy expedition.

I hate that make the sun go into hiding. Because of you I am forced to drive into work in the dark and the sun sets at noon! You rob me of my much needed daylight, without it I fall asleep at my desk dreaming of warmer destinations.

I hate your icy winds that freeze my fingers and cause my nose to run non stop. Because of you my attempts to stop my running nose are futile. You are a trickster that takes great pleasure in your pranks. Biting winds and frozen fingers make Kleenex holding impossible.

I hate having to dig my car out of three feet of snow and de-ice my door before I can drive home. Because of you I cannot gain access to my car unless I am red faced and gasping for breath. You turn the simple process of getting into an automobile an obstacle course that is physically exhausting.

I hate having to wear sensible shoes and unflattering winter hats. Because of you my days of wearing fashionable stilettos or having a well coiffed hair style are over. I am forced to wear unattractive, heavy winter boots and my hair is a flattened mess. And if I choose not to wear a winter hat, your gale force winds will ensure that my hair is rumpled and in disarray after a 15 second stint outdoors.

I hate having to put a snowsuit on a toddler and then attempt to strap that toddler into a car seat. Because of you a relatively happy child is transformed in a screaming, snarling beast whose arms are permanently perpendicular to their body. They are rendered immobile because they now more closely resemble a marshmallow than a child.

I hate having to navigate my way across slushy sidewalks and ice encrusted stairs. Because of you, pathways become treacherous walkways of death. Even in my sensible winter shoes, I must still be extremely careful when navigating my way outdoors for fear of sliding across a piece of ice disguised as sidewalk.

Winter I beseech you, please, please go away. I can no longer stand for your constant abuse. I yearn for the sunshine, heat and warmth of summer. However, I understand that you may have grown fond of the time that you spend with me and if you refuse to go away at least go easy on us.

Sincerely,

Me

Learn more about this author, Sila Anton.
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