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Because of our many moves during my son's first year of life (3), I was most fortunate to assume the task of stay at home mom, but this came to an abrupt end when my son was 18 months of age.
During his first 18 months my son and I came to know each other quite intimately. We developed that wonderful mother/son bond everyone talks about but without experiencing it, can only imagine feeling. At the time we were living in a new city

so we counted on each other (I guess me counting on him more than he on me.) Although funds were tight, I have to admit those 18 months were some of the greatest in my unsuspecting foray into parenthood. We sang, read books, laughed, cried and grew closer and closer, but as said, at 18 months it was time for me to return to work forcing his placement into the day care setting. I don't know who was more upset about this chain of events - my son or I. Nevertheless, fast forward 5 years and I decided to return home to be a stay at home mom, but this time also working a full time telecommuting job so as to keep an income coming into the household. By this time my son was in kindergarten. He had grown by leaps and bounds physically, emotionally and intellectually. Each year brought new challenges and new experiences. I must admit, his father and I documented them (via video camera and still photography) and, to this day, cherish each and every event, remembering them like they were yesterday.

Last year he graduated 10th in a class of 400, having been involved in many extracurricular activities, most of which I was designated driver to and from until he turned 16 when he was able to drive himself. I believe it was at this time (16 years) that I began to feel my child slipping away from me. He had a new set of friends, new confidants and a new sense of freedom. I was still his biggest supporter, his North, so to speak, but I was becoming less and less significant a part of his daily life. I can't tell you how much I missed our closeness, but I was enjoying watching my caterpillar turn into a butterfly.

He is now off to college and making his way on his own, needing my input and my approval less and less, but he still staying close through e-mail (God bless the internet) and the occasional phone call. He has been home twice since leaving for school and each time I have noticed him becoming more and more of a man and less and less of a boy. The tables have turned as he now contacts me to find out if I am well and if I am keeping up with things. It was he who voted through absentee ballot already and called me to explain why I should choose the candidate he chose (based in part on his worrying about my losing my health care benefits). He has hit the road running, already making his way in this world and influencing others as he ventures forward. I guess we have come full circle my son and his totally unprepared mother!

Learn more about this author, Judy Zabriskie.
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