by Lisa Davies

Created on: October 21, 2008

We all, at some point in our lives or our relationships, want to change the other. It comes at different times and from different circumstances.

If we marry way to quickly, without taking the needed time to get to truly know one another, naturally we are going to see the flaws, their characteristics that we hadn't noticed before, and some might call it, "their true colors".

So many of us fall into the category of lust, meaning when in the initial stage of the relationship, you both can think of nothing else but each other. Your heart still flutters when you see them, maybe your hands shake or your leggs feel weak? Whatever the case may be, we are walking around in a "surreal" state, and knowing that we are, but yet doing nothing about it. The wedding is still set for 6 months away, and everything is going to turn out "happily ever after".

Guess what folks, the new wears off! It's kind of like buying a brand new car or home, and you are so excited about it, your mind won't let you think of much else until you have it for keeps. You bought the corvette on impulse, because it was beautiful and fast, however you forgot about the very poor gas mileage, and the lack of comfort, or nearly having to fall out of the car, landing on the ground, only to crawl up to get on your feet.

There are many lessons to be learned here, but first we must admitt a couple of things to ourselves: 1) No one is perfect. 2) you can't change anyone or their lives, but your own.

In knowing that no one is perfect, than I believe it would be about accepting he/she for who they are, faults and all, seeing he/she perfectly for you.

If you feel their needs to be changes, start by making them in yourself first, seeing you change could easily trigger a change in your spouse.

Don't go into a relationship or marriage under false pretences, or with the brilliant idea, "things will get better." Know the person you are going to marry inside and out. Even if you have to test this person by putting him in situations to see how he or she might react. And most of all - if things arent that great before you get married, don't lie to yourself by saying they'll get better - they won't... And at times they might even get worse.

Be true to yourself and your significant other - that would be the appropiate and noble thing to do for both your hearts. And realizing that you will never find a "perfect person", maybe close, but never perfect. That goes all the way back to the begining of creation.

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