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Humor: A comical view of telemarketing

by Tina Woolum

Created on: October 20, 2008   Last Updated: November 29, 2009

Telerecruitment: Red Headed Stepchild of the Blood Banks


Let me start out by saying that giving blood is a noble thing. Donors are some of the best people in the world, even if they can be rude sometimes. I know. I have dealt with a lot of blood donors. For about a year, my job was to call blood donors and try to schedule them for another donation. This is a lot harder than it sounds.

I started working with the blood bank because I was desperate for work, and I was idealistic. It was a perfect fit. I thought, "OK, so I get to call these people and get them to do their civic duty." The way it actually worked, however, was closer to telemarketing. We were expected to schedule an average of 2.5 donors every hour, and 60% were expected to show up for the appointment. If we met or exceeded these numbers, we got a bonus at the end of the month. But if we failed to meet expectations, we were given a formal reprimand.

Again, it sounds easy. But this was made more difficult by two groups: the old timers and the donors. The old timers were telerecruiters who had been there for several years and had earned a spot on first shift. Not only did they get first crack at the lists of people who had actually visited the blood centers, but they also kept personal lists.

On Mondays and Tuesdays, we called donors who had given blood at the centers we had throughout the state. These people were much more willing to go again. On Wednesdays and Thursdays, we called a "zip code list". Those were people who had given at least once at a blood drive. These were much harder to convince. And on Fridays, we would try to hit up the people we had missed on Monday and Tuesday.

This was how it was supposed to work. But by the time my shift arrived on Tuesdays, most of the good list was already called. So we had to get to work on the zip code list. We would finish up the zip code list on Wednesday nights, so of course the old timers got to call the good donors on Thursday morning.

The personal lists were strictly forbidden. But every time an old timer came across a regular donor, she would write down the personal information. Then, a few days before the donor became eligible to give blood again, the telerecruiter would call to set up a guaranteed appointment.

Again, I repeat, blood donors are some of the best people in the world. But some of them are rude and/or strange. I have had people yell at me, curse me, call me every name in the book. I have been accused of harassment. I have had college

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