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Humor: A comical view of telemarketing

by Writer's Edge

Created on: October 20, 2008   Last Updated: October 28, 2008

Telemarketing, why did I do it? Because I was desperate to pay bills. What did I learn about Americans while telemarketing?

Between the hours of 4PM and 9PM, everyone in America is eating. Many Americans answer the phone exclaiming, "Can't you see I'm eating?!"

"Why yes sir/ ma'am, I can look through this phone right here, right now and see that you're eating," is what you think, or better yet, " I possess the powers of ESP, I knew that you were eating before you picked up the phone and told me." But what you're required to say, where I worked was, "I'm sorry to bother you, sir/ma'am, is there a better time to call?"

"NOOOOOOOOO, I'm always eating!" See, proves my point. Americans eat for 5 hours every night. Then they wonder, while muching on a twinkie and watching the news, why Americans are becoming a fat population. My favorite is when they end that statement with, "No, I'm always eating, you idiot!" What I really think is, "I'm not the person who thinks I can see through the phone and see that you're eating, or know you're eating before you pick up the phone," so who's the one shy of or short of brains?

But that's fine, I get the last laugh. I can't get off from the call and go onto the next call until I reschedule you. Bet you didn't know that. People say to take them off the company's call list, sorry, my screen doesn't have that option, it's a three tries before the number is dropped out of the computer. I don't know why people think we have that option or who told them that, but it's not on my screen. So if you're nice, I'll schedule you an hour later, if you're not, I'll schedule you at the same time for the next call. But that's what you get for not telling me a better time to call. We telemarketers have ways of driving getting to you.

An incoming call, oh goodie, someone who actually wants to talk to me and wants to buy, "Why did you call me?"

"Sir/Ma'am, the phone rang and I answered it, so you called me."

"Why did I call you?" Like I know. But we can always hope for the following that I say:

"Because you wanted to buy ____________(insert product name)."

"Oh H-, no, I was trying to call someone else." Click

So what can we conclude? Some Americans don't know they dialed a wrong number? Even if they had the right number, do they remember why they dialed?

But I did enjoy the older people who were very sweet until they found out the price of what I was selling, "Are you out of your mind?" Click! Let me check, nope, my brain is still in my head.

The men that want

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