by Emelia Rose

Created on: October 20, 2008

I was reluctantly married at the age of twenty-six. Being a single parent of one and pregnant with my second child, I didn't want to raise another child alone. We did the whole live together, play house, and work deal. I was fine just living together. Then the his family started with "You have to get married before the baby comes".

When I announced to my family that I was getting married they started making betts whether I would actually go through with the marriage. I always had a boyfriend and lived with several of them. No man ever gave me a reason to stick around long enough to consider marrying them.

We planned our wedding but I refused to get married while I was pregnant. My son was born and two weeks later we were married. My honeymoon consisted of going home and having my new husband pass out on the couch. It was just like any normal evening at home. The marriage lasted 6 years with another child born. We did everything from marriage counselors, to living together but sleeping in seperate bedrooms, living in seperate homes, in-laws getting involved, to just giving up. My heart was never into the marriage. He is a good father and stood by his responsibilities but I never got the whole marriage thing. I was never meant to be married and I still feel that way.

Becoming a mother and being an independent woman is who I am. Many times I think how nice it would be to have that live-in companionship but I also know that being head-of-household is my forte. I have been involved with the same man for almost ten years and have no desire to cohabitate. I love him very much and he knows that I don't want to live with him. I have a fairly decent paying job and can carry my own weight, so to speak.

My upbringing has a lot to due with my comfort level. I am the youngest of six children, grew up in a small two bedroom home and had no privacy. My father and mother fought constantly and my sister(the oldest)at 16 moved her husband and newborn son in the house, at that time I had to sleep in my parents bed until I was nine years old. When my sister moved out I finally had my own room and my four brothers had to pass through my room to get to the attic that they shared as their bedroom. At one time there were eleven of us in a two bedroom, one bath home. Talk about no privacy!

Maybe when my children our grown and out of the house I will marry again but, I wouldn't bet my life savings on it! I am completely happy with my life. I act as mom, boss, lover, and physically capable of caring for myself and my surroundings. Why do I need marriage to screw that up?

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